Semper Fidelis
by Writer Formerly Known As G
Summary: Always faithful is the motto of the Marines. When one of their best is injured, he will not only have to struggle through his recovery but he will have to face his own demons. The question is, can he do this on his own? RyanMarissa very AU COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**I have no place starting a new story with my ridiculously packed schedule but this plot bunny bit me and it just wouldn't let go. I don't mean any disrespect to anyone who has a friend or family member fighting in any war anywhere. The war depicted here is strictly fictitious. Also, I don't own the OC. Etc etc etc…**

**I might have screwed up the dog-fight scene at the beginning so if you know anything about flying a jet, let me know.**

**I hope you like this, it's not something that has been done before and it deviates from my usual Ryan/Summer stories. I'll love to hear what you'll think about it. Ergo READ and REVIEW!**

**_Always faithful is the motto of the Marines. When one of their best is injured, he will not only have to struggle through his recovery but he will have to face his own demons. The question is, can he do this on his own?_**

"Alright Ghost, it's a beautiful day some aerial reconnaissance!" Lieutenant Ryan Atwood quipped into the radio of his F/A-18 Hornet. "Follow my lead and we'll have this over and done with soon…"

"Tell me Grass, why is it that we get stuck with all the shit assignments?" Ghost asked Ryan, using his callsign.

"I have no idea. Let's just take a few snaps and high tail it out of here…" Ryan told his wingman, not in the mood for chit-chat.

"We're coming up on the site; let's reduce altitude and airspeed…" Ryan ordered his subordinate as they were reaching their target.

Looking out of his window Ryan prepared to take a photo of a site that his superiors suspected had surface-to-air missiles and surface-to-surface missiles. Something which could be seen as hostile action and that could be catastrophic in the current political climate.

A light started blinking on his heads-up-display or HUD for short. Glancing at his radar he saw three blinking lights.

"Are you getting this Ghost?" Ryan asked.

"Confirm that Grass. Three bogeys on our six." Lieutenant told his superior.

"Command, this is Phantom Rider 1, we have three bogeys heading our way. Please advise." Ryan radioed into his command post.

"Phantom Rider 1, this is Command, the bogeys are of unknown origin, please be advised that your rules of engagement are to fire only when fired at. Atwood, your aircrafts aren't equipped for a firefight so if things get nasty get your asses out of there…" Captain Larson said from his position on the USS Bounty at the flight command.

"Roger that. Moving into formation."

"Grass, these bogeys are moving fast, the only jets that move that fast are MiG's…" Ghost radioed to Ryan.

"I am aware of that. Arm your weapons and do not fire until fired at!" Ryan ordered.

"Holy shit! Grass, we have three MiG-35's on our asses! These Fulcrum's are faster, more maneuverable and more heavily armed that the MiG-33's, if these guys decide to get hostile we are out gunned." Ghost said and Ryan didn't answer.

"Our asses are hot! They are coming in hard and fast, I think we should prepare ourselves for the worst…" Ghost said, his voice full of panic. "Shit! One of them has a radar lock, I'm going evasive!"

"If that wasn't hostile I don't know what was!" Ghost yelled after the missile blew past him.

Ryan realized they might have bitten off more than they could chew and he was also starting to panic. Even though he was one of the best pilots the marines had, nothing prepared him for this. 16 months of basic training and them 8 months of specialized training al blew out the window when the odds were stacked against you. Your sense became hyper alert, seeing every minute detail, hearing the faintest of noise and even smelling a hint of the oil used to lubricate the engine. Everything seemed to slow down. This Ryan knew out of experience. He had been in a combat situation before and he knew that if he was going to survive he was going to have to draw on every ounce of experience. He saw his wingman break formation out of the corner of his eye and his mind switched to combat mode.

He saw a MiG pull up behind him and allowed him to settle before he slammed on the breaks and let the MiG fly right past him, allowing Ryan to fall behind him, right on his ass. When the familiar red light flashed and a distinct beeping sound was heard, Ryan pulled the trigger, releasing a missile with an exclamation of "Fox 3!" signaling his wingman and command that he was firing. He saw the MiG in front of him burst into flames and focused his attention on the other two.

"Two left, both bogeys focusing on Ghost, I'm going for the leader…" Ryan informed who ever was listening to the radio.

He saw the two MiG's on his wingman's ass and dropped in behind them. The lead MiG went lateral and Ryan followed suit. He armed a missile and waited to get a missile lock. When the MiG went into a nose dive, Ryan almost lost him but somehow he stayed on his tail, through a hard left turn and a wide s-loop. When the light flashed and the beep echoed in his ears he pulled the trigger, taking out the MiG.

He was just starting to think that they would be able to win this fire-fight when a loud alarm went of in his ears, signaling that someone had a lock on him. He turned around in his seat and was shocked to see the third MiG had dropped in on him and had a perfect shot. He went evasive and pulled up, causing the missile to fly right past him. He had not however eluded the MiG who was still firmly behind him.

"I can't shake him!" He yelled into the radio with a shaky voice. "Ghost, where the hell are you!?"

For the next few seconds Ryan battled to lose his pursuer but he was unable to do so. The MiG switched to automatic guns and rattled off a few rounds.

"I'm hit! I'm hit!" Ryan yelled, not sure to who he was speaking to but aware that he needed help, fast.

"I've got a lock, I'm taking him out!" If finally came from Ghost and Ryan was relieved to see the MiG explode.

He could hear the applause and cries of relieve flood the radio, but the damage had been done, his right engine was shot to bits and his left wing was riddled with holes. The combination caused his plane to spin and for him to finally lose control of the Hornet.

"Mayday! Mayday! I'm losing control and I can't get it back! I'm going to eject!" Ryan said and hit the eject button with force. His jet's canopy blew open and he was ejected with one big jerk. His parachute opened and he started falling to the ground. He was nearing the ground when he started to panic, he had no idea where he was and didn't know if it was in a friendly country. He just prayed he would be alive to find out.

­--------------------

Sandy and Kirsten Cohen were enjoying breakfast in their kitchen when their phone rang. Sandy picked up the phone, unbeknownst to its importance, and said in his normal relaxed tone, "Hello?"

"Mr. Cohen?" The authoritative voice on the other side asked and an ominous feeling took hold of his heart and he could all but breathe his confirmation.

"Mr. Cohen, this is Commander Harold Larwood of the USS Bounty, you are listed as the next of kin of Lieutenant Ryan Atwood. Is this correct?"

"That's correct." Sandy said, moving towards a chair because his legs were no longer capable of carrying him. Kirsten saw this and immediately she knew something was wrong.

"Mr. Cohen I am sorry to inform you that Lieutenant Atwood's plane was shot down ten days ago…"

"Ryan… Is he alright?" Sandy chokingly asked, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer.

When Kirsten heard her husband's words, her worst fears were confirmed. She and Sandy were unable to have children of their own and for many years they were happy with their situation. That is until Sandy's job as public defender made their paths cross with a young abused boy named Ryan Atwood. At first Kirsten was hesitant to have the boy in her house because he was a criminal her husband had to defend but after having him in her home for just one weekend, he had an irrevocable place in her heart. They adopted him and ever since he was their child, a part of their family. A child of their own would not have been more special to them than what Ryan was. Ever since he joined the army and was stationed overseas they had awaited the call to tell them their son was dead…

"Mr. Cohen, when your son's plane was shot down, he ejected over a hostile region and hew was captured. Two days ago we received intel that he was leading a group of three people through the wilderness and we picked him up. Your son lead an escape from where they were held captive, according to one of his fellow escapees your son was hit with shrapnel from a nearby mortar-explosion when he helped them escape, he said Lieutenant Atwood, like a true marine, wasn't leaving a man behind. When we found him, he was delirious and clutching a gun which had to be pried from his hands. He is currently on board of the USS Bounty and we are flying him into Florida tonight. He is safe, but he is badly hurt. The only reason I am telling you this over the phone is because your son needs you and I need you to meet us in Pensacola at the naval hospital."

"We're leaving immediately. We'll meet you there, Commander." Sandy put the phone down and saw tears in his wife's eyes. He went to her and he felt the tears prick his own eyes.

"Ryan's hurt. He's alive, but it's bad… We're meeting them at the hospital. They're moving him to the naval hospital in Pensacola."

­--------------------

"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen?" A doctor in a white lab coat asked as he approached the waiting area.

Sandy and Kirsten stood up and went to the doctor. The smell of detergent in their noses and the sight of family members waiting for news of their loved ones added to the ominous feeling they had.

"We're the Cohens," Sandy said. "Is there any news on our son?"

"As you know," The doctor started and pushed his glasses higher on his nose, an act, Sandy mused, that the doctor thought made him look smarter, "The damage was quite extensive. En route here your son's lung collapsed and it was touch and go there for a while but we managed to repair the damage best we could. He has two broken ribs and multiple cuts and abrasions to his upper torso; we managed to remove all of the shrapnel as it was mostly small pieces. Most of the above will heal satisfyingly. We are worried about his left knee though. From what we can gather, a large chunk of shrapnel hit his knee and whilst it did not embed itself into the knee, it caused quite a lot of damage. It ripped his ACLR to shreds. We removed a lot of scar-tissue but the prognosis isn't good…"

"So, basically, he is going to need a lot of therapy before he can use his knee again?" Kirsten asked, still struggling to comprehend her son's injuries.

"What I am saying is, Mrs. Cohen, it'll be a miracle if your son ever regains any use of his knee, let alone full use. As it is, he is going to have a lot pain for the rest of his life… Now, I was hoping we could discuss what the best course of action will be for your son seeing as he listed you as medical proxy, Mr. Cohen…"

"No." Sandy said with in a harsh tone. "No. I will not accept this."

The doctor looked slightly taken aback and asked with a frown, "I'm sorry, is something the matter?"

"Yes. Yes there is. I mean no offense to you Doctor, but are you a specialist in orthopedics?" When the doctor shook his head in denial, Sandy continued, "Well then, you are in no position to tell me that my son will never be able to use his leg again! I'm having Ryan moved to a facility that specializes in his type of injury!"

"But," The doctor tried to placate Sandy, "as a member of the United States Marine Corp. his treatment here is free and we might not be specialists but we are still capable of treating your son."

Before turning and leaving, Kirsten said, in clear support of her husband's decision, "We understand. We appreciate what you've done for Ryan but he needs specialized help and we can give it to him. Money is no object."

Nodding his head the doctor said. "I'll get a list of suitable facilities in your area. As a fellow Marine, let me just say that the entire Corp. owes a debt of gratitude to your son. He saved four lives, he is a genuine hero and I salute him. Semper Fidelis."

­--------------------

"Ryan? Honey?" Kirsten whispered when a flickering of his eyelids indicated he was waking up.

"Kirs… Kirsten." Ryan struggled to say with his raspy voice.

"Shhh… Don't try and talk too much. The doctor says your throat is going to be sore from the pipe they put in to help you breath." Kirsten said and brushed a hair from his eyes.

"Water." Ryan asked and Kirsten held a glass of water in front of him so that he could take a drink. Her heart grew heavy when she realized how easily she could've lost her son.

"What happened?" Ryan croaked.

"You were hurt when a mortar exploded near you as you were escaping… The doctor's say that it was a miracle how you managed to get so far with your injuries." Kirsten told Ryan the story and he nodded and closed his eyes again, too exhausted to continue. Kirsten took this as a sign that she could finally get some rest herself because she was now sure that Ryan was going to be okay.

Turning away from the coffee machine she saw Sandy talking to a doctor and made her way towards them.

"Hey…" She greeted Sandy and he slipped an arm around her.

"Dr. Wilkins was just telling me about a facility in Anaheim where an orthopedic surgeon called Dr. Chavez specializes in injuries like Ryan's. Dr. Chavez used to be one of the Mighty Ducks doctors… Dr. Wilkins thinks that we should get Ryan transferred there as soon as possible because if there is a chance that surgery might help they'll have to do it as soon as they swelling is down." Sandy explained his brief conversation to Kirsten.

"Ryan woke up." Was all Kirsten said in reply before hugging Sandy and letting her emotions course through her.

For his part, Sandy felt the rock drop from his stomach and he too finally let his emotions take over, silently letting a tear fall for the son he almost lost.

­--------------------

It was much later when Sandy and Kirsten were sitting in Ryan's room, chatting animatedly, not breeching the sensitive subject that was a like a big elephant in the room.

"So, we were talking with the doctor and he thought it was a good idea that we move you tomorrow, he called ahead and Dr. Chavez is expecting you…" Sandy told Ryan the plans they had made.

"That's good… I guess." Ryan said without any enthusiasm.

"It is good. So, Ryan, I know we haven't really spoken about this but, what happened out there." Sandy ventures, attempting to analyze the big pink elephant.

Sandy saw the raw emotion flash through Ryan's eyes before his face hardened, taking on a stony front. "I was captured and I escaped. Let's leave it at that…" Ryan said with a voice void of any emotion.

Sandy glanced towards Kirsten and saw his fear and worry over Ryan mirrored in her eyes. He realized that Ryan maybe needed more time to process his emotions. He decided to broach the subject at a later stage when Ryan seemed more willing to speak. By nature Ryan was a quiet person, not airing his emotions, but over the years Sandy had learned which buttons to push on order to get Ryan to talk. He appreciated that he might have to work harder this time to get Ryan to open up but he was more than willing to try.

­--------------------

"You see Mr. and Mrs. Cohen Ryan has a severe myotendinous strain of his anterior cruciate ligament. Basically one of his ligaments have snapped to such a degree that it appears to be bundled up. The good news is that Ryan's injury is of such a nature that his ACL can be repaired by surgery. The bad news however is that even with the surgery, Ryan's knee will probably never be completely the same, which means he might not regain a full range of motion and he will have pain for the rest of his life. Surgery can make it better, but it will not fix it…" Dr Chavez explained to the Cohen's after his exam of Ryan's knee.

"We understand that. But you can help? All is not lost?" Sandy inquired.

"Yes, I can help." Dr. Chavez chuckled. "After his surgery he is going to need extensive rehabilitation. I can recommend a few rehab centers in our area. Unfortunately because we sort of squished Ryan into the schedule, we are only able to do the surgery and keep him here during the early stages of recovery, we regretfully do not have space for him during his rehab." The doctor blushed before adding, "I really am sorry about this…"

"We understand doctor but we were planning on Ryan doing his rehab at home. We were thinking about getting a live-in therapist." Kirsten explained.

"I might have someone who will be willing to help. I'll be sorry to let her go but she needs the money more and, if I can speak frankly, I would love to get her away from her no-good fiancé."

Marissa Cooper was heading up to her office when her boss called her into his office. She was a physical therapist who started working with Dr. Chavez straight out of college. She couldn't complain about her job because the money and the hours were good but she sometimes felt as if something was missing. Her fiancé was an assistant district attorney and she sometimes worried that he was only with her because she looked good on his arm. She sometimes sat looking at other couples and admired them. There were no fireworks when she kissed Anthony and the ground didn't shake at the mention of his name but she cared for him deeply and she was certain he would never hurt her.

"You wanted to see me, Dr. Chavez?" Marissa asked when she entered her boss' office.

"Yes, we've got a new patient and the Cohen's here have an offer for you, please, sit down."

Intrigued, Marissa complied.

"As I was saying to Mrs. Cohen, you are our best physical therapist and I believe you are best suited for the job at hand." Dr. Chavez said.

Confused, Marissa said, "I'm sorry Doctor, I'm not sure what you are talking about…"

"I'm getting to that… The Cohen's son is scheduled for an ACL reconstruction tomorrow. He was a late entry on the schedule so we can't facilitate his recovery here. The Cohen's were hoping you would agree to be their live-in therapist, at their house in Newport, whilst their son undergoes his recovery…"

Late entry could only mean one thing: enough money to skip a waiting list of three months and judging by the Cohen's clothes and the location of their house, she was right. She was in no mood for a stuck up little rich boy who hurt his leg playing video games. "I'm sorry; I'll have to decline your offer. I'm still paying of student loans and my fiancé and I are looking for a house so that would be inconvenient for the two of us…"

"We'll double whatever you are currently getting paid…" Sandy said, shocking Marissa.

To Marissa this was now a whole other ballgame, still uncertain she said, "I don't know…"

Kirsten turned to the younger woman and said, "Flying is my son's entire world. He needs to get back up in the air or he'll fade away. The marines won't let him fly if he doesn't pass his physical and if Dr. Chavez is correct, you are the best person to help him get back on his feet. Literally and figuratively."

Touched by Kirsten's words Marissa agreed to be work for them on a trial basis. She already had bad feelings about what was going to happen and she hadn't even met the patient yet.

­--------------------

Entering the room behind the Cohen's, Marissa saw her patient and when his eyes met hers she was shocked speechless for a few seconds. His eyes were a shade of blue that could only be described as eerie. With his head of blonde hair cut to just shorter than a quarter inch he had quite the ominous appearance. There was unexplainable electricity in the air and Marissa was certain she was the only one who realized that.

"Ryan, this is Marissa Cooper. She's going to be staying with us after your surgery; she's going to be helping you with your rehab…" Sandy explained.

Sandy saw his son look Marissa up and down and much to his surprise, some of the passiveness washed out of his eyes, it was however replaced by a devious look and something Sandy could only describe as desire. Sandy struggled to suppress a laugh at his son who was ever the ladies man. He just hoped it wasn't going to cause a problem…

"Dr. Cooper… Very nice to meet you." Ryan said.

Marissa said in reply, "Please, technically I'm not a doctor, so please don't address me as one…"

"I don't see a ring so I can't call you Mrs. Cooper. I'm not going to call you Miss. Cooper and Marissa makes it sound as if we friends." Ryan said with a smirk. Before Marissa could answer Ryan added, "I think I'll call you Cooper…"

"Mr. Cohen…" Marissa began, not aware of Ryan's parentage, but Ryan interrupted.

"Actually it's Lieutenant Atwood but you can call me Ryan."

Oh yes, it was going to be an uphill battle, of that Marissa was sure.


	2. Chapter 2

_It is really hard typing with a broken hand so this chapter is slightly shorter than my usual post… _

_Anyway, thanks to Zbyszko for pointing out a few irregularities with my story. In all honesty, I have no idea how the Marines would fit into the whole military aspect so I used the South-African model where the air force, navy and army share all the military hospitals. Also, for my story to go where I wanted it to go, I had to take a few liberties a have the orthopedic surgeons be some what below par, no offense meant._

_Also, there is no Seth because I do not like Seth. It's my party and I'll ignore who I want to!_

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

**Chapter 2**

"So, Cooper? Time for my massage yet? Because you know what your hands do to me…" Ryan said with a devilish smirk on his face.

Ryan Atwood was many things. Boring, was not one of them, of that Marissa was sure. In the two weeks leading up to his surgery Marissa worked with him for an hour everyday, making sure his knee didn't get stiff while they waited for the swelling go down. He was quite the character. He openly flirted with her, and whilst it gave her ego a welcome boost she wasn't sure whether it was healthy for their 'working' relationship.

"I'll tell you what Ryan, I'll bring you a pair of my pants and you can try to get into them on your own time. Right now though, we have work to do." Marissa said, trying to sound authoritative.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll assume the position. And by 'assume the position' I meant nothing sexual… Unless you want it to mean something sexual?"

Marissa was amazed at how easily Ryan adjusted. He never spoke about what happened while he was held captive and sometimes she found him staring off into space, looking but not seeing. He was sometimes so deep in thought that she could see the affliction in his eyes. She saw right through his façade of playful flirting… It was a defense mechanism set up so that she didn't ask too many questions and that just made her all the more fascinated.

"Let's do some heel-flexes…"

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"Well Mr. Atwood, as I explained to you earlier we'll go in and we will replace your ACL with a synthetic ligament, usually we would take some fiber from elsewhere in your body, like the hamstring, but we feel in your case the synthetic option is the best." Doctor Chavez said on the morning of Ryan's operation.

"And you are certain, my ACL can't just be reattached?" Ryan asked.

"Unfortunately, Mr. Atwood, the tear in your ACL is of such severity that repairing it is, unfortunately, not an option. Do you want me to explain the operation again?"

"No. No, that's fine…"

"Okay then, I'll see you in theatre." Doctor Chavez completed before exiting the room, leaving behind Ryan, Sandy, Kirsten and Marissa.

"You're sure you are up to this?" A worried Kirsten asked.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine." Ryan said, dismissing any other queries.

"If you're sure…" Sandy said

"I am sure." Ryan confirmed.

"If you're sure then Kirsten and I will go and get something to eat before you go under the knife…"

Marissa watched Ryan watching his parents leave the room and she saw a flash of panic flicker through his eyes, confirming Marissa's suspicions that the lieutenant wasn't as carefree and unfazed as he wanted to appear.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Marissa carefully asked.

Ryan looked at her with his blue eyes and they appeared to go a shade darker, making Marissa uneasy under his gaze. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem…" Marissa carefully ventured, unsure how to describe his demeanor.

"I. Am. Fine." Ryan said, emphasizing each word. It was a little too harsh for Marissa's liking but she got the message that he wasn't willing to talk about it.

"Okay…" Marissa said in a lighter, yet resigning tone. "Good luck with your surgery, I'll see you tomorrow…" She added before turning to leave the room.

"Marissa… Cooper. Wait." It was in a much more calm and composed voice that Ryan spoke her name and it sent shivers up her spine when he used her name and not just the nickname he picked for her.

"Yeah? I mean, yes?"

"Could you help me with the gown?" Seeing her frown Ryan indicated to the hospital gown he had to put on to go into theatre. "I can't do it on my own and I don't want Sandy or Kirsten to have to help me…" He asked and a slight blush tinged his cheeks.

"Sure…"

Moving towards Ryan's bed she drew the curtains around them. It was then that it hit her that she was about to see Ryan naked. It felt to Marissa as if the walls were closing in on her and she had trouble breathing. She had to swallow twice before she was able to speak.

"Let me take off your pants." Marissa said before realizing what she said and blushing.

"Well usually it takes about three dates before I get that line from a lady but in your case I'll make an exception…" Ryan said, much to Marissa's consternation, she had hoped her faux pas could go unnoticed, but to no avail. Just when she thought she had a glimpse of the 'real' Ryan, cocky Ryan reared his head and ruined the moment with some subversive comment.

Taking off his pants and shirt left Ryan in only his boxer shorts. Stepping back, Marissa once again felt as if the air was sucked from her lungs. Even though she had massaged Ryan's legs and had felt his muscles ripple beneath her fingers, nothing could've prepared her for what she saw. Abs of steel was an understatement and his shoulder muscles were made to dig your fingers into. She struggled to pull herself together, reminding herself that she had a fiancé whom she loved. Looking at Ryan's biceps, biceps that held all the promise of a rough yet tender embrace, she had to concede that she might be a little infatuated with her patient. She also realized she would have to get over her infatuation really quickly seeing as though she was going to be living with him. If he could just keep that damn body of his hidden.

"If you are done staring at me, could you help me put on this terrible gown?" Ryan asked, pulling Marissa from her reverie and completely ruining the moment.

Marissa helped Ryan into his gown and once all the distracting parts were covered, Marissa had once again regained her professionalism.

She was just tying the last of the knots at the back of Ryan's gown when a petite brunette appeared in the door.

"I go on holiday for the for the first time in like forever and you get yourself shot down and captured. How can I ever leave you alone again?" The girl asked.

Intrigued, Marissa decided not to leave but remain in the room a little while longer. She examined the girl and realized her appearance was deceitful, she might be petite but she was roughly the same age as Marissa. Her clothes also spoke of wealth beyond Marissa's reach. Glancing towards Ryan she saw his smile reach his eyes for the first time in the entire time she knew him. He looked different when he truly smiled, more carefree and definitely more handsome, Marissa thought and for one brief moment she was jealous that Ryan didn't smile like that when he bantered and flirted with her.

"Summer!" Ryan exclaimed causing Summer, as Marissa now knew, move towards him and kiss him on the cheek and pulling him into a deep hug.

"How are you?" Summer asked, her voice full of worry.

"I'm fine. I might scream if some one asks me that again but I am fine." Ryan said and for the first time realized Marissa was still in the room. "I'm sorry, where are my manners! Summer," Ryan said and indicated to Marissa, "This is Cooper, my physical therapist. Cooper, this is Summer, the love of my life!"

Shocked, Marissa didn't say anything.

"Don't listen to him. He can be a little lewd sometimes." Summer said and stuck her hand out in a greeting, "It's nice to meet you Cooper."

Focusing on Summer's hand, Marissa shook it and replied, "It's Marissa actually, Ryan just likes to push his luck. It's nice to meet you as well. Ryan never told me he had a girlfriend…"

Looking puzzled, Summer said, "He never told me either… Ryan what's going on?"

Laughing from his stomach, Ryan said, "Summer, I think Marissa has the wrong idea here. I think, that she thinks we are involved…"

Struggling to control her own laughter, Summer turned to Marissa and said, "Boy, do you have it wrong! Don't get me wrong, Ryan is my oldest and dearest friend and I truly love him to bits but friendship is where it stays. He is much too big a ladies man, and I am not willing to be just another notch on his belt!"

In that moment the sun broke through the clouds for Marissa and she appreciated Ryan's flirting more for what it was, a way to amuse himself. Her ego was somewhat deflated that he wasn't really that interested in her but it would make it easier to live with him…

A nurse stuck her head into Ryan's room and said, "Mr. Atwood, the anesthetist, Dr. Klein, will be with you shortly before we take you through to the theatre."

Ryan thanked the nurse and turned to Summer, "Would you mind getting Sandy and Kirsten for me? They would want to be here for this…"

Marissa perceived that whilst he said they would want to be there, he meant that he wanted them there. He really was an enigma, she was curious as to why he has a different surname to his parents but she wasn't about to ask outright, she would be tactful if it killed her. She saw Ryan around his parents and she couldn't fathom that he wasn't theirs biologically but the signs where there, he didn't look like either one of them and the big tell was the difference in surnames.

When Summer left, Ryan turned to Marissa and said in a pseudo-serious tone that was just beyond Marissa grasp, "I might die today, things happen in a surgery that we can not control and there is one thing I need to do, in case the worst happens, I don't want to have any regrets… I want to ask you one favor and you have to promise me to at least consider it…"

"Okay…" Marissa said, curious as to what she could do for him, at the back of her mind a light flashed that she was walking into a trap, but she ignored it. "What exactly do I have to do?"

"All I am asking for," Ryan said and paused for effect, "is one kiss…"

"I should have known you can not be serious for one second!" exclaimed Marissa and headed for the door. Just before she exited the room she said, "Jackass!", causing Ryan to laugh, a laugh that echoed through the corridors of the hospital.

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

It was the day that Ryan was going home. It was also the day that Marissa was moving into the Cohen's house and she was really nervous and it didn't help that her fiancé, who was supposed to support her in her endeavors, was no where to be seen. Ryan's surgery had gone well and the surgeon was satisfied that Ryan should make a full recovery. Ryan had continued to be his obnoxious self, much to Marissa's dismay and she was once again concerned that it would be awkward living with him under the same roof. She promised herself that she would do it for one week, on a trial basis, before she makes any decision. She discussed it with Anthony and he agreed that the money was good and that was a big reason to suck it up. She wondered if it would make a difference to him if he knew her patient was a gorgeous guy in a uniform, a recipe to turn any girls insides to mush…

It was decided that Marissa would follow the Cohen's in her car and the closer they good to her new 'home' the more she realized she was out of her element. "Well Toto, we are definitely not in Kansas anymore…" Marissa remarked to herself as she stopped in the Cohen's driveway. Her car looked more than a little out of place in this oasis of luxury.

She got out of her car and immediately went over to the Cohen's car to help Ryan get out as well. Even though he was quite apt at handling his crutches, the surgeon didn't really want him to be on his feet for the next week or so, so he was getting around in a wheel chair.

"You'll have to push me to the poolhouse because this driveway is ridiculously steep!" Ryan commented and it couldn't be missed that he wasn't happy to have to depend on someone else.

"Why the poolhouse?" Marissa asked innocently, when Sandy wheeled Ryan away.

"Since he came to us, the poolhouse has been Ryan's kingdom, he doesn't even let Rosa make his bed. He is stubborn like that…" Kirsten explained. "You'll have to take the quest room in the main house…" To Marissa, she just made the picture of Ryan more complicated. How did this family fit together?

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-


	3. Chapter 3

Hallo there!

This chapter I am dedicating to all my lovely reviewers: Thank you guys for taking the time to let me know you like my story!

Someone asked me what Semper Fidelis meant, Semper Fidelis (or Semper Fi for short) is Latin for 'always faithful' and it is the motto of the US Marines.

I'm not all that happy with this chapter, something just seems a miss to me. Let me know what you think so that I could maybe fix it.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**CHAPTER THREE**

Fitting in. Now there was a narrative Marissa didn't understand. At least not in New Port. How exactly did one fit into a place like New Port? When she first entered her new room in the Cohen's house she was certain that she was actually entering a hotel room. The room was furnished with expensive furniture, the bed had down pillows and a big bunch of flowers adorned a big chest of drawers. Marissa flopped down onto the bed and thought to herself, she might not fit in, but she was going to be 'not fitting in' in the lap of luxury.

It was five days after her arrival in New Port and she was somewhat comfortable in her new surroundings. Ryan's therapy had been going well, or as well as circumstances would allow. He was still very fresh from his surgery and thus his knee wasn't very flexible yet. His time was spent mostly in the poolhouse playing play station and much to Marissa's surprise, reading books.

Because Marissa didn't know any people she spent her two days cooped up in her room before the luxurious walls seemed to close in on her. Out of boredom and somewhat out of curiosity she made her way towards the poolhouse. She found Ryan playing a game which, she gathered, consisted of Ninja's killing each other.

"Ah Cooper, couldn't stay away, could you? Please, come inside, sit…" Ryan said in his normal smug way.

"You know Ryan, if you cut back on the double entendre's you might actually be a person who I can stomach to be around." Marissa said, sorry she even thought of having a conversation with Ryan.

"I'm sorry!" Ryan yelled to get her attention and when he saw he had it, added in a more uncertain voice, "Please don't go…"

Looking into his impossibly blue eyes, Marissa saw a vulnerability that wasn't there before. When Ryan saw that she wasn't convinced yet he added, "It's not fun to play Ninja on my own and Fred, the spider, isn't the best conversationalist. I promise I won't proposition you for at least the next two hours…" Flashing his cocky grin when he ended.

Weighing her options, Marissa decided that she would rather be bored with someone else than be bored on her own, even of it meant she had to endure Ryan's flirting. Volatile though it may be. "Fine…" Marissa relented, "Show me how this ninja game works so that I can kick your ass…"

Ever since that day, three days ago, Marissa and Ryan had developed some semblance of friendship. By no stretch of the imagination had Ryan stopped his flirting but Marissa had just learned to roll with the punches.

Marissa jumped when she heard Kirsten open the door to pool house. "We're having a few people over, as a sort of welcome home party… You are, of course, invited Marissa." Kirsten said.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea…" Marissa said. It was bad enough to have to deal with one spoiled little rich kid, a whole whack of them might be a little overbearing, Marissa thought.

"Come on Cooper. It won't be the same without my favorite girl there." Ryan said, causing Marissa's treacherous heart to skip a beat when she saw the he really did want her there.

"I suppose I can dazzle the Newpsies with my wit…"

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

This wasn't my best idea, Marissa thought to herself as she looked to the assembled group of people. Where she thought she was out of her depth before, she now felt like Alice stumbling down the rabbit hole. All the guests had arrived and amongst Ryan's closest friends she counted a senator's son who himself was a political protégé, a principal of a prestigious private school and a journalist for Time magazine. If ever there was impressing, and daunting, group of friends, this was it.

Glancing at Ryan she found him staring back at her as he was chatting with Luke, principal of Harbor High. Embarrassed that she had been caught out, she blushed and looked down, busying herself with the drink in her hand.

"He likes you, you know…" A voice behind Marissa remarked, turning she saw it was Summer in all her designer clothes glory.

"Who?" Marissa asked innocently.

Rolling her eyes Summer said, "Ryan, that's who. I know these things; he gets this look in his eyes when a girl strikes a cord with him."

"We're friends." Marissa said, "And even that is a stretch."

"You don't have to believe me. But I am right, you'll see." Summer said and nodded solemnly.

Marissa's gaze was once again drawn to Ryan, this time she saw him talking to a girl with short blonde hair and a petite frame. She saw her lead Ryan to a chair and their heads leaned towards each other as they talked intimately.

"Strange, isn't it?" Summer asked.

Confused, Marissa asked, "What?"

"How a guy like Ryan fits into a world like this."

Seeing a chance for her questions to be answered. "Yeah… I was wondering about that… How exactly does Ryan fit into this picture because due to a plethora of reasons I have guessed that Ryan isn't the Cohen's biological son…?"

Summer was looking at Marissa as if she was deciding whether the girl deserved to know the truth. Summer sighed and said, "Well, the Cliff's Notes version is: When Ryan was fifteen he stole a car and got busted for it, Sandy was his public defender and took Ryan in. Not long after that the Cohen's officially adopted Ryan." Summer frowned before she continued, "I've been friends with Ryan since he got here and only once had he spoken about his family. Originally he is from Chino; his mom is a drug addict and alcoholic while his dad was a criminal."

"Was?" Marissa asked, referring to Ryan's dad and Summer's use of the past tense.

"Yeah, he died about six months before Ryan came to New Port. From what I gather, he had a tough time growing up."

"That sucks…" Marissa truthfully answered, now having a better understanding of Ryan. "But it's also amazing, coming from circumstances like that and ending up where he is…"

They stood in comfortable silence, Marissa once again sneaking glances towards Ryan. She saw him still talking with the blonde girl and an inexplicable pang of jealousy shot through her heart, but she quickly dismissed it and replaced it with thoughts of her fiancé whom she hadn't spoken to in two days and for a strange reason, it didn't matter all that much.

"Who is Ryan talking to? I don't think I've met her yet…" Marissa coyly asked.

Summer looked at Marissa with a smirk and replied, "Okay, I'll play your game little Miss I-am-not-interested-in-Ryan… The girl Ryan is speaking to is Anna Stern, one of my best friends; she's the LA correspondent for Time magazine. She and Ryan used to date in high school and they broke up right before Ryan joined the Marines and Anna left for college… I never could get the right story about why they broke up. I'm not really sure why I'm telling you all this, Ryan would kill me if he knew. He has a lot of trust issues."

"Don't worry, I won't tell him…" Marissa said, trying to joke but doing a terrible job of hiding her interest.

"He has nightmares, you know, about what happened…" Summer said somberly, her gaze too falling on Ryan. "He won't tell anyone but I can tell that he's not sleeping. When he smiles, it doesn't reach his eyes. He won't talk about what happened when he was kidnapped… I was hoping, you see him everyday and he likes you, maybe you could try and talk to him?"

Dumbfounded, Marissa said, "You can't be serious! I told you, we aren't even friends, people who irritate each other, yes, but friends, no…"

"I know that. I also know that he likes you and all your protests aside, you like him. To me, that means he will listen to you… Think about it." Summer said before she was beckoned by Anna. "I'll see you around Marissa…"

Ryan had nightmares. Summer had just confirmed Marissa's suspicions that all was not well with Ryan. She stewed about whether she should talk to Ryan or not because she appreciated that it was a very touchy subject, and knowing Ryan, he wouldn't open up about it easily.

"Having fun?" A voice behind Marissa asked.

"Does everyone in New Port sneak up you!?" Marissa squeaked after Ryan startled her.

"I can hardly sneak up on anybody with these crutches. I saw you talking with Summer, what did you girls discuss? Probably me…" Ryan joked.

"Maybe we were, maybe we weren't. You will never know…" Marissa countered and walked away, swinging her hips seductively, sure that for once she one-upped Ryan at his own game…

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"So Summer tells me you and Anna used to have a serious relationship…" Marissa asked as she was helping Ryan with his exercises.

"Did she now? I'll have to talk to her about spilling the beans of my past conquests to my future conquests…" Ryan said, trying to change the subject by flirting with her. Marissa had come to know this behavior by now and she was more than up to his challenge.

"In fact, she said that after Anna you haven't had a serious girlfriend."

Ryan finished his exercise and got up from the bed, leaning heavily on his crutches her frowned and asked, "I'm guessing there is a question in there somewhere?"

Smirking inwardly to herself, Marissa was satisfied that she had succeeded in rattling Ryan for the first time. "Yes, there is a question. Why did you and Anna break-up?"

"Not that it is any of your business but Anna wanted me to go to college and I wanted to join the Marines, she gave me an ultimatum and I picked the Marines over her."

Marissa was deflated to some extent, she wasn't hoping for some sordid love affair but she had hoped for something that showed that Ryan was human, that he felt something or cared for something because he had yet to show any emotion regarding his capture and subsequent escape. In fact, if it hadn't been for Summer, Marissa would've probably never known Ryan had nightmares about the time he was held captive.

"Yesterday was the first time I actually saw Anna since the day we broke up." Ryan continued, unprovoked. "It was surreal actually, all these emotions came flooding back to me. Back then, I loved her but she asked me to give up something that I loved just as much, or maybe more than her. She couldn't understand that I had to do something for myself, something I earned, not because someone took pity on me or because my parents had money but because I earned it fair and square. She wanted me to give up my dream and I would've, if she didn't make me choose, but by making me choose she lost me…"

"Why are you telling me this?" Marissa asked.

Turning to her and piercing her eyes with his Ryan said, "We're friends, aren't we."

Smiling to herself, she was glad he too saw their 'relationship' as more than just a working one. She wasn't too dim-witted to realize that she was vaguely attracted to Ryan and she would also be the first person to admit she found him intriguing. If he wanted to be friends she saw that as a sign that his banter was a show of friendliness and she would reciprocate like wise. Friendship could be a middle ground for them to interact on without being unfaithful to her fiancé…

"Yeah, we are friends…" Marissa said. Remembering her conversation with Summer the previous day, she saw this as a chance to speak to Ryan about his nightmares, because she understood if he was to have any closure he would have to open up about his experiences. "As a friend, can I ask you something?"

For once Ryan answered seriously. "Sure. Shoot."

"What happened while you were captured?"

She saw the myriad of emotions cross his eyes and his breathing become more shallow and fast. "Nothing happened. I don't want to talk about it."

"Please, Summer says you have nightmares and I think if you talked about it, it might help…" explained Marissa.

Angrily, Ryan responded, "Summer is quite the little do-gooder, isn't she!?"

Seeing that she might have gone too far, Marissa tried to placate Ryan by saying, "Ryan…" but she was interrupted by Ryan's shouting, "NO! You don't want to know what happened. I think you should leave!" Marissa paused, unsure of what to do next when Ryan's voiced thundered, "Get out! Now!"

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

Lying in her bed, unable to sleep because of her fight with Ryan. She knew she might have gone too far but she was certain it had to be done. Someone had to talk to him about it and if it had to be her who bore the brunt of his anger, so be it. She was a tenacious person and his revelation that they were friends made her decision to push him further easier.

Sighing softly, Marissa got out of bed and look through the window, taking in the sea breeze and fresh air, marveling in the waves crashing on the beach. The sounds and the smells soothed her soul but she was still no closer to sleep. Her mother used to make her warm milk with cinnamon when she couldn't sleep, Marissa though to herself and the nostalgia made her long for just that drink.

When she entered the kitchen she was surprised to see Ryan there. Too tired to fight, Marissa said despondently, "I don't want to fight with you Ryan…"

Ryan glanced up from his coffee cup, looking very miserable. "Me either… You were right. And Summer was right. I get nightmares about what happened. I realize I have to talk about it eventually but it… It's just… How do you tell someone about the worst thing imaginable happening to me when it felt like… It felt like it happened to someone else, like it wasn't my reality, like I was outside of my body looking down on the events as they transpired."

Sitting down next to Ryan, Marissa placed her hand on top of Ryan's and said, "I know that it is hard and I can't even fathom what happened to you but talking to someone, a professional, is the only way you will be able to accept these things and to process what happened. It is important not only to your mental health, but also your physical health. Your rehab will go easier once you are mentally healthy…"

"You might be right." Ryan conceded. "I'll ask Summer's dad to recommend a good psychologist…"

"I'll make you one of my mother's patented sleeping aids. Worked like a charm when I was younger…" Marissa said, eliciting a smile from Ryan in reply.

"They just assumed I want to go back…" Ryan said randomly.

Puzzled, Marissa queried, "What? Who just assumed you wanted to go back where?"

"Sandy and Kirsten." Ryan explained, "They just assumed I want to go back to the Marines."

"So you don't want to go back?"

"I don't know… I really don't." Ryan said staidly. "When I was up in the air, I was in control. I was untouchable. Then I got shot and things changed, they, the people who held me captive, took away my control and I don't know if I can get it back. That's why Anna and I broke up, she took away my control. I don't want to go back and do my job half-assed. If that makes me a coward, so be it but if I go back, I want to be the best again, I want to have faith in myself. They just assumed I could go back and everything will be alright. I don't know if I can. I don't know id I can go back…"

Marissa saw past all the bravado Ryan had. She saw through the cocky, arrogant, self assured façade Ryan put up and saw a scared boy. Afraid to do something he loved for so long. Unthinking Marissa pulled Ryan into a hug and when he hugged her back, she melted into his body. She knew it was wrong, she shouldn't take comfort in his touch, she was supposed to give it but the way their bodies fit together, the way his hands on her bare arms sent shivers up her spine and the way his breath tickled her ear made her lose all her senses and her mind to boot. She closed her eyes and reveled in the feeling of comfort and safety Ryan's hug offered.

Still wrapped up together, Ryan said, "I don't know what it is about you that makes me lower my guard. Usually I am an interesting person because I'm a rich guy who opted to forgo his wealth and join the Marines. When I talk to someone, I get in, I get out, say only enough too satisfy a person's superficial interest. But with you, you make we want to tell you everything, you make we want you to know me…"

Letting her go half-heartedly, Ryan uttered under his breath, "You have a fiancé. I shouldn't be doing this. I'm sorry…"

Watching his retreating back, Marissa realized that in that moment she couldn't give a damn about her fiancé and that he had been the furthest thing from her mind for a long time… She was in real danger for falling for a patient.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"Die you ninja scum! Die! Die! Die!" Marissa yelled in the heat of the moment, not pushing but rather punching the buttons of the play station controller.

"Dude, I think we should find a new game to play because you are taking this way too serious! Have you ever considered anger management classes?" Ryan joked, earning him a slap from Marissa.

After their heart to heart six weeks ago, they had settled into a routine, Marissa would help Ryan with his exercises and then she would sit in his room and they would either watch a movie or play play-station. If they didn't do that Marissa would sit and read whilst Ryan did whatever he did. Or since Ryan was now walking with one crutch, they would go out and take short walks.

When Marissa first met Ryan, she had him pegged as an arrogant, rich, Mommy's boy. But the more time she spent with him, the more she realized she was wrong, the more he amazed her. When she thought he was a dumb jock, she learned he had a full scholarship to Berkeley, which he turned down in favor of going into the Marines. When she thought he had no empathy, she saw him help a little boy who fell of his skateboard. Yes, Ryan was chock-full of surprises.

"Hey, sorry to bother you…" Marissa was pulled from her thoughts by Sandy's words as he entered the poolhouse.

"Hey, Sandy. What's up?" Ryan asked.

"Well…" Sandy started ominously, "Caleb is holding a little shindig for the Newpsies. And he wants you there…"

Ryan chuckled, grateful that for once he had a legitimate excuse for not attending, "Well Sandy, you can tell Mr. Nicholls that I am sorry but I will have to decline his generous invitation…"

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that, but the man is an evil genius! He's holding it for your birthday and he is joining it with a fundraising event for the orphans of the American military. He figures that having a grandson who was injured whilst on duty is going to score him major brownie points for when the contractor on the new wing to the airport is decided."

Exasperated, Ryan said "Son of a bitch. He really does know how to pull the strings…"

Marissa had heard of Caleb Nichol but she couldn't understand why Ryan and Sandy was so against the idea of this charity event. She thought it was a fantastic idea. "Why exactly is this such a bad thing?" She inquired, earning her shocked looks from both Ryan and Sandy.

"She lived a sheltered life, forgive her, her ignorance…" Sandy said to Ryan.

Turning towards Marissa, Ryan explained, "It's not a bad thing per se, it is just that we would have to suffer through hours if mindless chatter from Newpsies who only attend this thing so that they can be seen with the rich and famous. Nobody wants to be there but if you get an invitation to a Caleb Nichol event it is confirmation that you are part of the top echelon where money and power are paramount. In your entire life, you will not see people vie so hard for attention ever again. Plus, it is black tie and I don't like dressing up…"

Marissa had to laugh at Ryan and Sandy's distressed faces.

"You are of course also invited Marissa so don't think you can weasel your way out of this…" Sandy said to Marissa and she wasn't sure how she felt about it…

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"So, you all set for Saturday?" Ryan asked Marissa, referring to Caleb's party.

"I don't know why you guys are making such a fuss! It's just a party! But yeah, I am ready, got my dress and everything." Marissa replied.

She saw Ryan internally debate something, she knew he was struggling to decide something because he always looked at the floor with a deep frown when he had a decision to make and he didn't know what to do. It appeared as he came to a conclusion, stepped towards her and said, "About Saturday, as the guest of honor, it'll look bad if I show up without a date and I was wondering, do not feel obliged to answer if you don't want to or if I'm crossing a line here but I was hoping that you'd be my date. As a friend. If you're up to it, but it's okay if you're not."

"I'd love to go with you." Marissa said and she saw Ryan's face light up. "But I can't, Anthony and I are going together." She saw Ryan's face fall and for some reason she felt like she had to explain herself to him, "It's just that we haven't seen each other for quite a while and he is my fiancé…"

Backing away from her, Ryan said, "That's okay. That's perfectly understandable. He is your fiancé and I had no right to ask you. I should've guessed you'd take him, or rather he'd go with you. We're just friends, it's not as if I had any claim on you. Please just forget I ever said anything!" Ryan kept rambling to himself as he made his way from the kitchen and for some inexplicable reason Marissa felt as if she was cheating on Ryan with her fiancé…

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"Marissa! I see you too we're roped into attending this get-together… Ryan and Sandy can be quite persuasive if they want to be…" Summer said to Marissa.

The party was well on its way and still there was no sign of Ryan. Marissa was starting to wonder whether he would show up to the party held in his honor… Things between them had been strained and Marissa missed the amiable nature that had existed between them.

"Hello… Are you there?" Summer asked when she had not received an answer to her previous question from Marissa.

"Hey Summer, sorry, I spaced out there for a sec. What was the question?" said Marissa, finally focusing on Summer.

Summer laughed at Marissa's absentmindedness. "I see you have the right frame of mind. Just block it out! Have you seen Ryan yet? He promised me to seen at least somewhat cordial towards all the Newpsies…"

Marissa frowned as she realized she was not the only one worried about the whereabouts of the guest of honor.

"There he is now, and I have to say, he makes quite the picture in his dress uniform…" Summer excused herself and went to greet Ryan.

Looking at Ryan in his crisp white uniform, Marissa couldn't help but think that Ryan made quite the daunting picture. Especially since he had his hair cut in the traditional military style again. He looked authoritative despite his cane that accompanied his uniform. She was just about to go to him and try to apologize again when Anna came up to him, whispered something in his ear, which drew a smile from his face before reaching for, and holding, his hand. She saw him laugh out loud at something Summer had said and she saw that even though he might dispute it, he fit into this world of wealth and affluence. She suddenly felt out of place in her non-designer dress and chain store shoes.

She saw Anthony approach and she sighed inwardly, she was not in the mood for one of his diatribe's about how the people of Newport where abusing their wealth and that the lavishness and luxury they were living in was a waste.

"This is a smorgasbord of leaders in business collected here! Good Lord, you should've gotten me invited to one of these things earlier! Do you think you get me an introduction to Caleb Nichol? Having his support could do wonders for my political career!"

Suddenly Anthony was very irritating to her. Anthony, she realized, was more worried about his political career than his fiancé whom he hasn't seen in weeks.

"I'll introduce you to his grandson, maybe that'll help." Marissa said, suddenly desiring to be near Ryan.

As they walked towards the group of people which held Ryan, Anna and Summer, Marissa's heart began to beat incomprehensibly.

"Marissa! So good of you to join us!" Summer exclaimed and in her mind Marissa thanked her for being so friendly towards her, it made it a whole lot less awkward.

"I just wanted to introduce you all to my fiancé. Anthony, this is Ryan, my patient, Summer, one of Ryan's friends, Luke, another one of Ryan's friends and Anna, she is Ryan's… She is one of Ryan's…" For the life of her, Marissa couldn't think of how to describe Anna's relationship to Ryan.

Luckily, or unluckily, depending on how you look at it, Ryan came to her aid. "Anna's is an old friend and my date for the evening…"

Marissa was taken aback by his statement. But, she surmised, she couldn't have expected any less. He had asked her to be his date and she had declined, she couldn't expect him to go stag to a party held in his honor. She felt betrayed, even though she had no claim on Ryan.

"Lieutenant Atwood! Imagine seeing you here!" A voice with a significant southern drawl yelled almost from across the room, pulling Marissa from her reflections.

Ryan turned to the voice and recognition flashed through his face as he hobbled towards the man in military attire. "Ghost! Bloody hell is it good to see you!" Ryan highlighted his surprise and joy by pulling the man into a hug. "Come, let me introduce you to my friends…"

"Ghost, this is Summer, Luke, Anna, Marissa and Anton…" Ryan said and pointed to each person as he did.

Marissa could hear her fiancé grind his teeth at Ryan's mistake with his name. "It's Anthony, actually."

Ryan merely dismissed Anthony with a brush of his hand, ignoring anymore protests completely. "Everyone, this is Ghost, or rather Lieutenant Casper Brown. He is the guy responsible for saving my life."

Marissa saw Casper Brown's face change from cheery to serious when Ryan introduced him. "Um, Grass, could we perhaps speak alone somewhere, I need to apologize for something…"

Ryan's face also turned serious and he had the look Marissa had come to recognize as the one he had on when he though about what happened after his plane went down. "No, no one is apologizing for anything, not tonight, not ever. What happened, happened. It's a party and we are here to have fun!"

"Here here!" Anna said a bit too loud for Marissa's liking. "I think we all need some bubbly!"

Much later, Marissa wasn't sure how much she had had to drink but she was certain it was more than she should've.

"Okay. Okay. I've got one! Do you know how Grass got his callsign?" Casper asked, he himself a little intoxicated.

"He smoked a lot of weed when you were in training?" Summer ventured, earning laughs from the group and a stern reprimanding look from Ryan.

"I don't think this is a good idea. These people don't want to know how I got my callsign. It's a boring story…"

Summer scoffed. "It might be boring but your refusal that it be shared makes me curious so carry on Casper!"

"We we're out partying with some flight engineers and one of them was hitting on a waitress but she only had eyes for Ryan. Eventually this guy gets sick of it and confronts the chick, he's all up in her face and saying what does he have that I don't and it's because he's a pilot and I'm only a flight engineer. Finally this girl covers his mouth because she is sick of this guys rambling, she looks him straight in the eye and says, it's not because he is a pilot, it's because he has a great ass. From then on Ryan was known as Grass. Get it? The gr from great plus ass equals grass!"

Everyone laughed at that story, Marissa even thought she saw Luke spurt champagne through his nose. Everyone that is except her fiancé.

"Funny story." Anthony said unconvincingly. "If you'll excuse us, I have to be in court early so we're just going to head out…" Pulling Marissa with him as he left.

As they were leaving Marissa heard Summer say "Party pooper!" and she was inclined to agree with her. The more she spent time with Anthony that evening the more she saw the difference between him and Ryan. She was questioning the very basis of her relationship with Anthony and he was making her decision a lot easier.

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

The following morning, as Marissa sat and ate her cereal in the kitchen, the door opened and Ryan tottered in without the aid of his cane. He looked disheveled and Marissa mused that he hadn't slept well.

"You shouldn't be walking without your cane." She told him and continued munching her Rice Krispies.

"I just came to get some coffee." Ryan replied and busied himself with the coffee machine.

Marissa debated whether she should try to talk to Ryan and finally flipped a metaphorical coin in her head. It landed on heads, just as she thought it would, which meant she would talk with him. "About the other day, I really am sorry. If I had known you were going to ask me to go with you, I wouldn't have asked Anthony."

Ryan turned his head towards her, his hands still busy with the percolator. "I was out of line. You have a fiancé and it is normal for you to take him. Nice guy by the way."

Snorting at his obvious lie Marissa replied, "You don't mean that. He's an ass." Seeing the surprise in Ryan's eyes she knew she shouldn't put down the man she supposedly loves. "An ass that I love, but an ass nonetheless." It didn't sound convincing, even to Marissa and she doubted that Ryan bought it. "I just hope it doesn't change things between us… I've come to cherish our friendship and I don't want to lose it…"

Ryan's hands stilled and he turned his entire body towards Marissa this time, a metaphorical cease-fire. "I cherish our friendship too… I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior. I just hope things can go back to normal."

"I hope that as well. Maybe, in the spirit of getting back to normal, we could play a game of ninja? I might be a little out of practice so now is the best time to try and beat me…" Marissa asked hopefully, wriggling her eyebrows playfully.

"I would love to but…" Ryan trailed off, looking to what he was busy with earlier, staring at the coffee in the pot.

For the first time Marissa realized that he was preparing two cups of coffee. She knew one wasn't for her because he knew she didn't drink coffee. Which only meant one thing.

"Anna?" Marissa choked out.

"Yeah… She's probably wondering what happened to me so I've got to get back to her…"

As she was watching his retreating back, it felt as if her heart was in a vice-grip and all the life was being squeezed out of it. The blinding realization hit her and she had to sit down. "Oh my God. I'm in love with him…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi y'all!**

**I know it's been awhile... I've been REALLY REALLY unmotivated so I sort of forced this a bit. I am a bit nervous about the end result so please tell me if it's bad or good.**

**Thanks.! **

**CHAPTER FIVE:**

The next couple of weeks went by in a haze for Marissa. Any semblance of normalcy she had hoped to get back of her relationship with Ryan went out the window with her revelation of being in love with him. She helped him with his therapy and retreated into her room. On account of that she wasn't sure whether he was still seeing Anna. She wouldn't ask because the answer to that question could potentially kill her. Unlike before she made sure to go home every weekend- at least them she wouldn't have to face Ryan, and potentially Anna. Anthony, for his part, didn't suspect a thing and that made the circumstances at least a little bit more bearable.

"Have you seen the remote?" Sandy asked Marissa as she was staring mindlessly at the book in front of her. She was trying to read but her thought were occupied elsewhere.

"Sorry. No…"

"Damn it! Either the TV faeries have kidnapped the remote or Rosa has decided to rescue me from myself and my addiction! Either way, I am screwed!" Sandy said and sat down. "How are you? Ever since you moved in, so to speak, we haven't really gotten to know each other and it's a Cohen rule, I need to get to know a person living under my roof…"

Marissa had to chuckle at Sandy. He was like the father every person wanted. "I'm fine. Nothing much going on?"

"Oh yeah? It's just that you've been keeping to yourself an awful lot…"

Couldn't fool Sandy! Marissa thought. "It's just Anthony… The wedding arrangements are a handful and I've been neglecting him so, yeah…" Way to go Marissa! Lie to the very trusting man! Marissa silently berated herself.

"You sure? Ryan didn't do anything, did he?" Sandy asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"No, no he didn't…" He didn't do anything, I went ahead and fell in love with him.

"Right. Okay then. Since Ryan and Kirsten aren't here, we can throw a couple of steaks on the grill and get to know each other!"

Startled, Marissa asked, "Ryan's not here?"

"He didn't tell you?" Marissa shook her head and Sandy explained, "It's Luke's bachelor party and he went out with the guys. So what do you say? Steak?"

Dejectedly, Marissa followed Sandy out to the grill. She idly wondered whether Anna would approve of Ryan in a room full of strippers…

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

Marissa woke later in the evening to a shrieking sound she established to be the telephone. She look at the clock and was surprised to see it was three am. She wondered who the hell would be calling her at this time of the night.

"Hello?" She answered, the sleep still thick in her voice.

"Marissa?" The voice on the other end of the line asked.

"Yeah. Who is this."

"It's Luke. I'm sorry to bother you but I kind of need a favor…"

Marissa was surprised that Luke would ask her a favor at this time of night. "Okay… What is it?"

"It's Ryan…" Immediately Marissa's head went into overdrive.

"What? Is something wrong? Did he hurt his leg again?"

Luke chuckled and Marissa felt a little stupid for overreacting. "No. No. Nothing like that. He's just really wasted and seeing as it's my bachelor party I can't really bail, the other guys are too wasted, Summer is in Europe Kirsten and Sandy would kill me if I phoned them. Could you come and pick him up? Please?"

Mentally debating it for a second, Marissa agreed and got the address.

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"Thanks for doing this." Luke said and helped to load Ryan into her car. She had dressed in record time and in the morning she would probably be ashamed at her choice of sweatshirt and pants but right now, all that matters is that she was here with Ryan.

"Dude! I don't know why you are sending me home! I am fine!" Ryan yelled so loud that Marissa had to cover her ears.

"Ryan, buddy, let's use our inside voices, please." Luke said.

"Okay… Can I stay then? I really think Tiffany was into me…" Ryan replied, this time whispering.

"No, Ryan, the stripper was only into you because she heard you were insanely rich!"

"I beg you pardon! I will have you know I am a oscifi, offifer, ossisefer, I am a lieutenant in the marines. She was into me for my masculinilly…" Ryan said, again shouting.

"Clearly, he is not fit to be around, well anyone…" Luke said to Marissa.

"Don't worry about it, go and enjoy the rest of your party!"

The drive home was awkward at best to say the least. Ryan kept mumbling about the strippers and Marissa wasn't sure whether she should be jealous (which she was) or angry (which she was).

She had to physically drag Ryan to the poolhouse but it was encumbered by his bummed leg.

"Come on Ryan… Work with me…" Marissa said to no one on particular.

She had to swallow twice before getting his shirt of in order to dress him in his pajamas.

"Why aren't you always this nice to me?" Ryan asked through slurs.

"What are you talking about?" Marissa asked dumbstruck.

"This. Ever since my party you were acting all weird and shit…" Marissa had to give him credit. Even drunk he made an excellent point but she would never, ever, tell him the truth.

"Really Ryan, I don't know what you mean." Go with the ignorant Marissa decided.

"I might be drunk, but I know when someone is avoiding me… The morning after the party you said you wanted things to go back to normal but what is happening now is quite the opposite of normal. What did I do or if you don't want to answer that tell me what I can do to make it right!"

Marissa was between a rock and a hard place. Does she tell him the truth or does she fudge a lie good enough to fool him. She went for the middle road…

"You mean the morning after where I found out you slept with Anna two days after you asked me out? You don't think I have some right to be upset?"

"At least you admit you're upset…" Ryan said flippantly, angering Marissa.

"So not the point right now! Can you for one second see my side of the coin or are you too egocentric to do that?" Marissa said at a few octaves higher than her normal voice, but not yet yelling.

"I'm sorry!" Ryan said, also a little aggravated. "I am sorry I did that! Even though I am sorry I cannot understand why the hell you are mad at me. You are engaged. You are so far out of bounds that it is not even funny! I had, and do have, every right to sleep with whoever I want to and there is nothing you can do about it. You can't have your cake and eat it too!"

Marissa shook her head, more to herself than Ryan. He was right but he had hurt her pride and vindictive and malicious were words that sprang to mind when her current mood came into question.

"You do have every right to sleep with anyone you want to. I was never upset about that!" Liar, she thought to herself. "I was upset about you. I thought you were a decent guy. When you asked me to go with you, you looked genuinely sincere yet the moment you had a shot, you slept with someone else! What does that say about you as a person? Please Ryan, enlighten me!?"

Ryan lowered his head, a clear sign of defeat. "I was sincere. More than you know. But when you said no, I was hurt." When he said that he looked up and for once she could see into his soul and what she saw at once scared her and made her heart jump in her chest. He must've realized he was showing too much of himself because he added, "You hurt my pride. I slept with Anna to prove I still had it. If it makes you feel any better, it was a one time thing, from my side at least. I am ashamed of what I did and I know it was wrong."

And it did. It did make her feel better. It made her feel good enough to run the New York marathon!

"Now if you don't mind, I want to be asleep before my buzz starts wearing off. Tiffany is calling to me from my dreams!" Ryan said, effectively ending the conversation.

Standing outside of the pool house for a good five minutes, Marissa debated whether she should just go in and tell Ryan the complete truth. She weighed and she measured. She made hypothetical pro and con lists in her head. And she played scenarios over and over in front of her. The decision to go and tell him came easily in the end. The realization that Ryan might actually weighing heavy on her.

"Ryan?" Marissa asked, just above a whispered when she entered the pool house for the second time that night. She saw he had already fallen asleep and he looked so serene and peaceful that she wouldn't wake him for anything in the world. If she was brutally honest with herself, she would admit that the sight of him had made her lose her nerve.

She stood staring, admiring him as he slept. "I love you." She said and her voice was strong and unwavering, surprising even herself.

Ryan's sleeping body shifted and for one heart-clenching second she thought he was awake during her confession. His body stilled and Marissa relaxed. As she was turning she heard a feint sound, but it spoke directly to her heart, "I love you too …"

She turned in a flash, scrutinizing him. Making sure he was asleep, or not. She stood for a long time and he did not make a move indicating he was awake. More confused then ever, Marissa exited the pool house.

Was he awake? Was he asleep? Did he mean what he said or was it the mumblings of a dream? All these thought were driving her mad!

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

She had not slept at all that night. She was tossing and turning the entire night. Her thoughts kept her guessing and analyzing. Somewhere after six am she had even made herself believe he had winked at her after he said he loves her too (or didn't he?) and that she was the victim of some seedy candid camera show.

Marissa looked at the clock, groaning when she saw that it was just over 8 am. She would have to start with Ryan's therapy soon so she might as well get a start because sleep was not coming now. She made her way down to the kitchen because even though she had a bad night didn't mean she should skip the most important meal of the day!

As Marissa sat and ate her cereal in the kitchen, the door opened and Ryan tottered in without the aid of his cane. He looked disheveled and Marissa mused that he hadn't slept well. A sense of déjà vu overcame her and she choked on her muesli.

"Hey…" Ryan croaked. The signs of a hangover visible in his actions.

"Bad night?" That's it Marissa, go for the safe, small talk she told herself.

"You could say that." He said, busying himself with the coffeemaker. For one panic-stricken moment she thought he had someone over after her but as she gazed down she was reassured that he was only making coffee for himself.

They moved in silence. She, eating her muesli and he, drinking his coffee. Marissa was the first to break through the barrier of silence, deciding to take the bull the horns.

"So, some things were said last night…"

Ryan kept focusing on his coffee as if he was too scared to look at her, and that at least comforted Marissa: he was just as nervous as she.

"Yeah… Some things were said." Ryan said and drifted off. It was as if he was forcing her to make the first move. It was a role she wasn't that comfortable with.

Just as she was about to ask if he had meant that he loved her he started, "In all honesty though, I only remember patches of the evening… I remember you taking me home after that butt-load of shooters at the strip club. I remember a girl named Tiffany who was really in to me. I remember us talking in the pool house but a lot of what was said is lost to me… Did I say something important? Should I be embarrassed? Should I have to apologize?"

He looked genuinely sincere and Marissa wanted to cry. That meant she couldn't ask him about what he had said because he had no recollection of it.

"No Ryan, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Nothing important was said, we just sorted out some things between us. We had decided to try and go back to normal…" Marissa said disconsolately.

"We did?" Ryan replied, clearly surprised.

"Yeah. We did…"

"In that case," Ryan said, looking more relaxed than he had in a long while, "why don't you come to the poolhouse and we play a little play station? Alcohol and painkillers don't go well together so I won't be up for my therapy for quite a while…"

It wasn't much, but it was step in the right direction and a gesture Marissa would grasp with both hands.

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"Dude! You are so out of practice that I am whooping your ass all the way to Sunday!! Should we continue or should we just say I beat you fifty times because it's not even worth it since you die within fifteen seconds!" Ryan replies.

Marissa sighed. She was happy and hoped she could freeze the moment forever. Being with Ryan like this was what she thought happiness was like. She knew however that it would not last: if it was this easy to find, it would be just as easy to lose.

"Trash talk! I like it! It'll make it so much sweeter when I whoop your ass!" Marissa said, joining in the banter.

"Oh is that so? We'll see about that!" Ryan said, now focusing on the game with more ferocity, hell bent on beating her.

Much later, when Marissa had slipped to yet another embarrassing defeat, they decided to rather watch TV. Ryan had confessed that he is secretly a huge fan of The Valley.

"Amber is such a slut! She is only sleeping with Brandon to get to Arnold who is seeing her sister!" Marissa commented on the characters and their sordid affairs.

"If I were Arnold, I'd pick over Amber over Mindy any day of the week! She is freaking hot!" Ryan said dryly.

"Typical guy. Go for the looks and completely disregard the fact Amber is severely disturbed and belongs in a mental institution!"

"Oh yeah? As apposed to Mindy who has murdered two of her previous lovers? Yes, Amber is certifiable!"

Their bantering went on and on during the entire show. When it was over, the trailer for a new movie came on.

"Oooh… I want to see this!" Marissa said.

"Sure you do!" Ryan scoffed. "Because of the fantastic story line and not the fact that Vin Diesel appears without a shirt."

"Of course! It's artistic value. Nothing seedy about Vin Diesel without a shirt…"

"We should go see it." Ryan remarked, surprising Marissa.

"Sure, we'll work it into the schedule." She answered vaguely.

"No, I'm serious. Tonight. We could go tonight. We could grab some Chinese, which I've been craving, and then go see the movie." Marissa was still skeptical and Ryan must've sensed it because he quickly added, "It's all in the spirit of our renewed friendship…"

"Sure. It's a date." The she realized what she said and furthered, "I mean, it's not a date it's a arrangement , it's a, it's a friendly get together… Oh, sod it dog!"

They were so engrossed in their repartee that they didn't notice someone at the door.

"Knock-knock…" The voice said, causing both Marissa and Ryan to turn towards the door.

"Anna! Hi… What are you doing here?" Ryan said.

And the coin drops Marissa mused silently to herself.

"I had to come back to the LA office for a while and I was hoping we could catch up…" Anna said, and whilst Ryan couldn't read the subtext, Marissa saw right through it! She wanted Ryan back.

"Right. Okay. So… What did have planned?" Ryan asked.

"I was hoping we could go out for dinner tonight?" Snap, Marissa thought, now we would really see where his allegiance lies.

"Could we perhaps take this elsewhere? Somewhere we can discuss this in private?" Ryan asked and Marissa was sure that Ryan wanted Anna back as well. His actions spoke volumes. He was ditching her for Anna. She received his message loud and clear!

"I'll be in my room, we can start your PT later Ryan." It would kill her had Ryan or Anna asked her to leave so she fired the first shot.

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

She was struggling not to cry. She had promised herself she wouldn't but she wasn't sure she would be able not to. She was staring out the window of her room at the poolhouse. Inside Ryan and Anna was probably getting back together. She imagined their bodies pressed together in the rages of passion, writhing together. She felt nauseous and light headed all at once. She imagined this is what hell felt like. Truth be told, she had no right to feel betrayed, though she did, because she still engaged to Anthony. She wasn't sure why she hadn't yet cut him loose but she supposed it was somewhat if a safety blanket because as long as she had Anthony, she had no right to act on her feelings for Ryan.

Her throat clasped shut when the door to the poolhouse opened and out came Ryan and Anna. Her heart joined her clasped throat when Ryan kissed Anna's cheek and gave her a hug. She remembered what it felt like to be in those arms and she could feel her resolve not to cry, slip. She turned away from the window because she didn't want to be witness to anymore of their debauchery.

She was laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling for God knows how long when there was knock at her door. "Come in…" She said, her voice faltering at the end.

"Hey… You bus?" Ryan said after he peeked his head around the door.

And the hits just keep on coming! "No. Come in…"

"I was hoping to talk to you before our date tonight."

Marissa was surprised that he would still keep their date that evening seeing as he and were now back together.

"Okay… What did you want to discuss."

Ryan sat down and heaved a sigh. "It's Anna… She wants to get back together."

"What's the problem then? Don't you want to get back together with her?" Never in her life had she asked a more loaded question.

"The thing is, there's this girl…" There's another girl? This was news to Marissa. "And this girl is totally of the market. Ridiculously out of bounds. But I just can not get her out of my mind. She is there constantly whether I am actually in close proximity to her or not. What's worse, I'm in love with her."

Marissa heart beat shot through the roof. She wasn't sure if she was perceiving Ryan correctly or not, but her heart's barometer was telling her, her feelings were returned.

"I see… And this girl, does she share your feelings?"

"I don't know. I haven't revealed my feelings to her. You see, I asked her out once, she shot me down and then I went ahead and made the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe I should just accept the way we are now- just be happy that she is at least offering me friendship?"

In his eyes she saw the same nudity and vulnerability that she saw last night when he argued with her in a drunken stupor.

"I think you should tell her. I strongly believe your feelings are reciprocated…"

Leaving all of the subterfuges aside, Ryan said, "Marissa, do you realize what you are saying?"

"I'm telling you to make your feelings known to the woman you are in love with." Marissa wasn't sure where she was getting the courage from but she was certain the adrenaline in her veins had something to do with Ryan and his revelations.

Ryan paced her room up and down, biting his finger nails.

"But what if I get shot down? I don't think my fragile ego could take that. Seriously, who would want to have a cripple?"

Throwing caution to the wind, Marissa said, "God damn it Ryan! I'm in love with you!"

Silence. Marissa was met with silence and just before she was about to run from the room Ryan swept her into his arms and kissed the life out of her. She felt his hands slip underneath her t-shirt and it sent shivers up her back. Her hands followed his example and dug into his back muscles which were still supple even though he had not exercised them with the same vigor he had before the accident.

His hot breath tickled her throat and she heard a groan, she wasn't sure who made the sound but her knees buckled underneath her nevertheless.

"Maybe we should move this to the poolhouse because if this is headed where I hope it is, I wouldn't want Kirsten and Sandy to hear us through the walls. Also, you're leaning against me and my leg will only be able to carry the both of us for a little while longer." His voice was low and hoarse, a clear sign of how their kissing was affecting them. Marissa didn't answer, she couldn't. Instead she just let Ryan guide her towards the poolhouse.

Once he closed the door behind them they once again were joined at the mouth, their kissing reaching fever pitch. They made their way towards the bed and soon their clothes became redundant. Their moment of pure unity was all Marissa had expected and so much more. It was pure ecstasy and literally blew Marissa's mind.

Afterwards, they lay together in Ryan's bed basking in the afterglow, Marissa's head resting on Ryan's chest and his hand idly tracing patterns on her palm. "I think it is safe to say your wedding is off…" Ryan said and gave a low laugh.

"I would think so…" Marissa agreed, her heart soaring. "You know, you haven't said it yet."

"What?" Ryan asked and moved Marissa so that he was looking her straight in the eye.

"You've been talking about this hypothetical girl you're in love with but you've never said how you feel about me."

Ryan moved further away and his movements were met with a questioning glare from Marissa.

"I can't touch you when I say this because your body drives me insane and makes me lose my mind." He explained, "Marissa Cooper. I am in love with you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before. You bewilder my senses, making me beg for more. I want you in my bed and more importantly in my heart for the rest of my life and for the rest of eternity. Was it something like that you wanted?"

Marissa pulled him to her and kissed him, slipping her tongue in his mouth, urging a groan from him. Pulling away, she left him breathless for a change. "It was perfect."

For a few blissful moments, everything was perfect. Before Marissa would've waited with her breath held for the problems to start but for once, she was happy to just let it ride, happy to just let the chips fall. She was sure that she and Ryan would be able to weather the storms as long as they are together.


	6. Chapter 6

Now this chapter, I am more than happy with. Let me know what you think!

_**//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\**_

**CHAPTER SIX:**

"We have to get out of bed sooner or later…" Marissa said to Ryan as they were lounging in his bed. It was the morning after their mutual declaration of love and all was well in the world.

"I know… But I believe we can still squeeze in a few hours before we start to dehydrate!" Ryan joked back.

There was a knock at the door and Sandy's voice followed, "Ryan? You up yet?"

Marissa started to panic because she wasn't sure how Sandy and Kirsten would take her new relationship or whatever with Ryan. She dropped off the bed and ignoring Ryan's questioning stare, rolled under it.

"Yeah, Sandy. I'm awake!" Ryan told Sandy despite his confused state.

Sandy opened the poolhouse door and stepped inside. "I just came to tell you that Kirsten and I are spending the day with Caleb on his boat. He's all about the family bonding again." Then he added when he saw Ryan's raised eyebrows. "Don't worry though, I got you out of it by telling him that your leg wouldn't hold with the rolling of the waves."

"Thank goodness, I didn't want to hear again why it's better for me to join him at the Newport group than going back to the marines. One would think he would get the picture after the billionth time I told him."

"Okay then, guess that's it." Sandy said and left the poolhouse. Just as Marissa was about to relax, he came back into the room and said, "Good morning, Marissa! Go easy on him today, he had quite the workout last night."

She came out of her hideout and looked embarrassed when she said, "How'd you know?"

"Well," Sandy said and chuckled, " The fact that you didn't sleep in your bed was a hint but more-over it was the fact that your feet stuck out at the bottom of the bed! Now, be good today or Kirsten will have my ass! Bye!"

When Sandy left, Ryan and Marissa collapsed onto the bed in a fit of giggles.

"I don't think we were very inconspicuous… Do you?" Ryan said against her lips.

Marissa kissed him deeply for a few seconds before replying, "No, I don't think we were! At least now, you are up!"

Ryan pulled her on top of him. "In more ways than one…" His voice was low and husky and it urged a groan from Marissa. They both know where this was headed but neither cared. The longer they could hide away from reality, the happier Marissa would. She knew they had a lot of things to deal with, like her fiancé for one, but that would have to wait for later…

Much later as they both lay spent, Marissa traced patterns on Ryan's chest. "For a man still undergoing physical therapy, you have some stamina!"

"We both know that it's only because of my fantastic physical therapist…" Ryan joked.

Much later in the day, Marissa got out of bed and put on Ryan's shirt, she was sure if they didn't eat something soon they would die of hunger.

"God. If I had known you looked that good in my shirts I would've given you all of them ages ago." Ryan said after appraising Marissa for some time.

"If I had known you looked so good out of your shirt, I would've taken all of them away from you ages ago!" Marissa countered.

"Don't think I didn't see you ogling me that day in the hospital when you helped me into that awful theatre coat…" Ryan growled and pulled Marissa to him for another steamy make out session.

Marissa pushed Ryan away causing him to moan. "I am hungry! I need sustenance!", she cried and tried to stand up but Ryan was having none of it.

"If you get up, you'll be parading in the poolhouse in that shirt of mine and I don't think I'll be able to stand it Cooper…"

"I have a better idea then, let's go out for breakfast and take a walk at the beach…" Looking at her watch Marissa corrected, "Lunch really… That way, I'd be covered up and the walk can count as your therapy for the day because after all the exhaustion I put you through you shouldn't be up for anything more strenuous…"

"And let's say I give in to this hypothetical plan of yours, what do I get in return for feeding you?" Ryan asked with a sly smile that made Marissa's heart beat faster.

"Well," Marissa answered, "when we get back, I might take your shirt off and wear it myself again… Also, I might be persuaded to wear my bikini to the beach…"

That caused Ryan to jump out of bed, "In that case, get your ass dressed I know the perfect place for breakfast slash lunch!"

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

"These are the best waffles I have ever had. Seriously, best waffles ever!" Marissa said in ecstasy.

"In that case I am never bringing you here again." Ryan stated much to Marissa's dismay.

"But why?!" She asked in consternation.

"Because Cooper," Ryan said, "I should be the only one to elicit that look of pure rapture on your face…"

Marissa had to laugh but her amusement soon turned to something else when Ryan used his thumb to wipe the bit of raspberry sauce from the corner from her mouth and putting his thumb in his mouth to suck it off.

She had to swallow hard before she could speak. She pushed her plate to one side and said, "Suddenly not so hungry anymore." Ryan's lazy grin said more than words could about he felt about them leaving right then.

Just as they were about to head out Summer appeared in the door. "Ryan! Marissa! What are you guys doing here?"

"We were having lunch. But we're actually in a hurry so we can't stay." Ryan said.

"Why? Can't you even stay for a cup of coffee?" Summer asked and Marissa was starting to grow uncomfortable so she kept herself busy with finishing her milkshake but Ryan's reply made her choke and almost spill everything that was left.

"Actually, no, we were headed home to have sex."

"Ryan!" Marissa chastised.

"What?" Ryan asked Marissa, "You didn't expect me to lie to my best friend, did you?"

"Maybe be less lewd and blunt could you?" Marissa asked goaded.

"You didn't mind me being lewd last night and this morning…" Ryan teased.

Marissa turned bright red and dropped her face in her hands. "I'm not going to say anything else. I'll just… I'll meet you at the car!" Ryan's deep laugh followed her all the way through the diner.

Marissa wasn't sure how long she waited for Ryan. According to the clock it couldn't have been more than five minutes but it had felt like an eternity.

"I'm sorry…" Ryan said when he finally joined her against the Jeep. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Well you sure did. That wasn't the way I pictured people finding out about us." Marissa said seriously, more embarrassed than anything.

"Trust me, Summer knew what was going on way before I make any rude jokes this morning."

Shocked, Marissa turned to Ryan, "She knew!? How? What… Why!?"

Ryan realized a low chuckle, "You forget, Summer is my best friend and confidant. After Anna left last night, I called her and she was the one that persuaded me to tell you how I felt. Her being here is no coincidence either, she trawled all my favorite hangouts after Rosa told her we went out for lunch…"

"This is so embarrassing… But I guess I owe her one though, right?" Marissa said and slanted into Ryan, ending so close to his mouth that his breath tickled the tiny hair on her skin.

"Yeah, I guess you do." Ryan answered and the tone of voice he used made her knees go even weaker. She was certain that he excreted some sort of pheromone because every time he got this close to her she wanted to rip his clothing off of him.

"She did make one interesting point though… " Ryan said.

"What?" Marissa asked, her voice betraying that she wasn't really paying attention to what Ryan was saying. Ryan must've sensed her absentmindedness because he pulled away from her and she could feel the absence of his body heat and it left her body craving it's warmness again.

"That you are still wearing that." Ryan said and pointed to her engagement ring.

Marissa was shocked that she hadn't thought of taking it off earlier because it no longer held any significance to her. She could understand why it was cumbersome to Ryan though because it symbolized that she still belonged to another man. It was ridiculous how easy it was for her to make the decision. She took off the ring and threw it in the direction of the beach. It landed somewhere in the sand and Marissa couldn't care less what became of it.

"Satisfied?" Marissa asked with a smile.

"You have no idea how happy you just made me…" Ryan said and pulled Marissa into a fiery kiss.

She was struggling to breath and she knew they had to take their embraces to a more private spot before they broke some sort of public decency law. She put her hands of Ryan chest and gently pushed him away. He was looking at her through heavy lidded eyes when she said, "Do you think we could perhaps skip the walk at the beach? All of the sudden I have this fantastic idea how we could tackle the rest of your therapy today…"

She saw Ryan's eyes glaze over further and if it was possible the blue in them began to sparkle with alacrity. He gave her another one of his heart stopping kisses before it was his turn to push her away. "I would love to but that ring reminded me that technically you can't really be mine yet until you've broken it off with Anthony…" He gave her another kiss to emphasize his longing for her to belong to him and continued, "I think before we go, there, again, you should break it off with Anthony. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to us either…"

He had a point, Marissa reasoned.

"Do you think we can go home then so I can pack and go to Anaheim this evening? The sooner I break it off with him then the sooner we can get back to… your therapy…" Marissa said and Ryan nodded before getting into the Jeep and taking them home.

-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-

It's not you, it's me. You deserve better. We've grown apart.

Marissa toyed with every cliché in the book. She wasn't sure how she was going to do this but she decided that maybe the truth is the best option. She opened the door to Anthony's office and he looked up surprised.

"Riss? What are you doing here? You know better then to burst in here without an appointment…" He said in the stuck-up bureaucratic voice of his when he looked up from his desk and saw her in the door. For once Marissa allowed it flow over her. For once she didn't get irritated.

"I checked with Jenny, she said you are free for the next hour. There's something we need to talk about." Marissa said and sat down in front of him.

"If it has anything to do with the wedding, I don't want to hear it. You go ahead and set a date, I'll fall in with whatever you pick. I really don't need to be involved. Lilies, carnations, roses… It's all the same to me." Ryan would want to be involved, Marissa thought and that brought a smile to her lips.

"You see, all is well. You can go now." Anthony said, mistaking her smile for happiness about having free reign of the planning of their wedding, and focusing back on the papers in front of him.

"Actually, Anthony, there isn't going to be a wedding." For the first time, there was a crack in Anthony's demeanor and he looked up, startled.

"What do you mean with there isn't going to be a wedding?" Anthony asked with a frown.

"The thing is Anthony, you and I, we never had passion. We never set a room on fire when we walked into it. We wouldn't make each other happy."

"That's just bollocks! Of course we would make each other happy! We are happy. We've been happy!" Anthony countered helplessly and Marissa shook her head.

"No, we're not and we never were. I have however been happy." Marissa said when she thought of Ryan's face when he kissed her, "I am happy."

"There's someone else, right?" Anthony asked. More downhearted than angry. Marissa nodded her head in concurrence. Anthony sighed. "It's that patient of yours, right?" he asked and once again Marissa merely nodded her head. "I should probably have seen it coming. A part of me did. The way you looked at him that night… It was so clear but I didn't want to see it…"

"I am so sorry, I never meant for you to get hurt." Marissa tried to placate him because when all was said and done, she might not have loved him with the fervor she did Ryan, but at one stage she cared enough for him to agree to marry him.

"It's all right. You can't help who you love. For what it's worth, I really do love you." Anthony said and hung his head in defeat. "You make sure he takes care of you! If he ever does anything to hurt you, you give me a call, you hear me!?" Anthony said and Marissa was glad that he was taking it this well.

"I will." She came round the desk and gave him a hug. A break up was never easy so she was glad that they could part amicably.

"Can you do me one favor though?" Anthony asked and at that stage she would've done anything he asked so she nodded her head. "Could we perhaps keep this under wraps for the next two weeks?"

"Why?" Marissa asked confused.

"The election for District Attorney is coming up and a engaged man has a much bigger chance than a single guy who got dumped because he isn't passionate enough…" He looked almost laughable when he asked this and, Marissa argued, what damage could it do? So she agreed.

As she was leaving, she couldn't get to Newport fast enough to give herself to Ryan fully and completely.


	7. Chapter 7

Marissa stopped her car in front of the Cohen's and she was surprised to see a camouflaged jeep already in the driveway. It was probably one of Ryan's friends from the Marines visiting him, she silently mused.

"Ryan?" Marissa asked as she walked through the house. He, however, was nowhere to be found and so she decided he must be in the poolhouse.

"Ryan?" She tentatively asked again as she stepped into the poolhouse. She was greeted by the sight of Ryan talking to a very official looking person in full military regalia.

Ryan's eyes immediately softened when he saw her and he welcomed her with a soft "Hey…"

The person with Ryan spoke up before Marissa could greet either of them back, "Well Sergeant Atwood, we'll need an answer within the next two hours as this situation is of the utmost importance. We'll understand if you refuse but, and I don't need to tell you this, those men need you. I trust you find this all in order." Salutations were exchanged and the guy left without being introduced to Marissa.

When Ryan closed the door behind them, and immediately gathered Marissa up in his arms, kissing her until she couldn't remember her name.

"Wow. How long was I gone for? Maybe I should leave again if that is the sort of welcome back I get!" Marissa said when she finally had her senses back.

"You were gone for too long." Ryan remarked against her mouth and the feel of his breath against her skin sent shivers up her spine. "How did it go?"

"He took it well. Better than I expected… I think deep down he knew we wouldn't, couldn't, be happy." Marissa briefly explained her visit to Anthony. "Who was that guy that was just here? He was a bit off, wasn't he?"

"It was my CO…" Ryan said, offering no further explanation, piquing Marissa's interest.

"What was he doing here? Did he come to discuss your physical exam?" she asked with her eyebrows furrowed into a frown.

"He wants me to help them out with something." Once again Ryan's answer was very pithy and uninformative only heightening Marissa sense of unrest.

"What is it?" Marissa pressed whilst putting distance between herself and Ryan. She found his presence much too distracting.

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes. Yes it clearly does if you are this evasive about it!" She was starting to get pissed off at Ryan's cagey tactics. Why wouldn't he just tell her and get it over with?

Ryan took a deep breath and said, "They want me to go back."

"Oh, is that all?" Marissa asked surprised, unsure about why he would hide this. "Have they set a date for your physical? Is that what you need to get back to him for?"

"No, you don't understand." Ryan said and sat down on the bed. "They received intel about a group of our people being held captive at the camp where I was held and since I escaped from there once before, they want me to lead the strike force…"

That had not at all been what Marissa imagined. "But how? Your leg? You're not nearly ready for any field duty."

"Well sure, but I am mobile enough and it's not like I would be running the New York marathon, I could do this. Besides, the pain will never go away, regardless of what I do…"

At one stage Ryan had the most excruciating nightmares about that place and she couldn't believe he was even considering going back. "You told me you weren't even sure you wanted to go back? Where is all this coming from? To me it sounds as if you are seriously thinking about doing this?" Her voice was haggard and maybe she had no right to question his decisions but the chance that she might lose him so soon after finding him was weighing her down.

"How could I not!" Ryan yelled exasperated and stood up to pace the room. "I was there, I went through what those guys are going through! If I sit idly by and do nothing, I wouldn't be able to life with myself!" She didn't miss the grimace on his face when he made an abrupt turn and it only underlined her theory that he was nowhere near ready for that type of physical exertion.

"If you go, you might not come back. You might die over there…" Marissa said, looking down, her voice was small and betrayed her insecurity…

"It's better to die for something than die for nothing." Ryan stated unequivocally and it suddenly struck Marissa that he had already made his decision and that she would have to do something drastic if she was to at least have a chance at stopping him from going.

"If you go," Marissa said and taking a breath to compose herself, "If you go Ryan, I'm not sure I'll be here when you get back…"

Ryan stared at her through narrowed eyes, the twitch of his nose the only sign of life in his otherwise stoic face. After a long while, Marissa grew uncomfortable under his gaze. He seamed to weigh his options in his head and when he finally spoke his face was hard and it scared Marissa, "Right from the start, you knew flying and the Marines where my life. You knew I broke up with Anna because she made me choose yet here you are, offering me an ultimatum?"

Marissa knew now was the time to choose her words carefully, "I love you Ryan, during our time together I might have made myself believe that you could be a Marine and not be in danger but you can't and I'm not sure I can life like that, not knowing when and if you are coming home. If you see that as an ultimatum, I'm sorry but that's how I feel."

"Get out." Ryan said and Marissa wasn't sure whether she has heard correctly.

"What?"

"You heard me, I said, get the hell out." Ryan said and his voice betrayed a trembling deep inside him.

"Ryan… I…" Marissa began, trying to placate him but he was having none of it.

"No. You would have me abandon the people I swore to always be faithful to! I gave an oath! It might not mean anything to you but that is my life and you don't get to force me to make a decision to abandon someone in need!"

Marissa realized she was backed into a corner, she was losing Ryan and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. When adrenaline kicked in, Marissa was more the fight then flight type of person and so she lashed out, her anger fuelled by the ease with which Ryan could cast her aside. "I forgot! You have abandonment issues! Why is it Ryan that whenever someone gets too close you push them away!?"

"This has nothing to do with you giving me an ultimatum!" Ryan countered and whilst he had a point Marissa was already too focused on hurting Ryan like he had just hurt her. Was she not good enough for him?

"It has everything to do with it! So come on Ryan, admit you have abandonment issues! What was it, Ryan, Mommy and Daddy left you?" She could see his breathing become more shallow and his entire façade change into something she could only describe as vulnerable.

"You don't know anything." Ryan said, turning away from her and this time it was his turn to sound small and insecure.

"You're right I don't know anything because you never talk about yourself!" Marissa countered. "Why don't you ever talk about your home-life before you moved in with the Cohen's? I'll tell you why, because that would mean actually letting someone in!"

Ryan vehemently spun around and his eyes were ablaze with emotion. "It's because I didn't have a home! Is that what you wanted to hear!? Or do you want to hear how my mother died giving birth?! Or how my dad was shot when a drug deal went sour!? Maybe you want to hear how I sucked other guys' dicks to have enough money for food? No, Marissa, don't tell me you wanted to hear that because no one wants to hear that! Forgive me for trying to forget about my life before the Cohen's took me in, because this is the only home I know!"

"Ryan…" Marissa tried to reach for him but he stepped out of her reach.

"No! I don't want your sympathy!" He yelled and it was apparent that he, much like Marissa herself, was close to tears. "I let you in. I let you in deeper than anyone before and you took that trust and stomped on." He added in a eerily calm voice.

Marissa wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She had hurt him more than she had ever wanted and she wasn't sure how she was going to repair the damage. How do you tell someone that their history doesn't matter? That what ever they had done is dead and buried after you had just proven that they couldn't trust you not to wound them.

"I'm leaving now," Ryan said as he opened the poolhouse door, "and when I get back, you'll be gone. I never want to see you again."

And just like that it was over. He closed the door of the poolhouse and it was like he was closing a metaphorical door on their relationship, however short-lived it had been.

-------------

Two weeks later Marissa was walking around in a mall somewhere in Anaheim. She was still in a daze after her break-up with Ryan. She had to find an apartment, a new job and find a way to somehow gather the pieces of her heart. It was a daunting task and for Marissa it seemed as if there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

After their fight, she had packed her bags immediately, not wanting to face Sandy and Kirsten to feel their wrath. She had ripped out their son's heart and cut it to shreds, and her heart was merely collateral damage. She didn't want to see the look on their faces when Ryan told them what she had done. She didn't want to see the pain on any one of the trio's face. She was ashamed of herself and her pain was her punishment.

"Marissa?" A voice asked, pulling Marissa from her thoughts.

"Anna?" Marissa replied when she recognized the vivacious blonde.

"I thought was you!" Anna said a tad too joyfully for Marissa's liking. Probably too glad I'm out of the picture so she can get her claws into Ryan, Marissa silently mused to herself.

"Yes, it is me." Marissa replied cattily, though for some reason Anna didn't perceive it as such.

"I'm really glad I ran into you like this. It saved me a whole lot of detectiving… Do you think we could perhaps go and grab a cup of coffee?" Anna asked and if nothing else Marissa was intrigued and so she agreed.

Anna had picked out a small, friendly diner on the outskirts of the mall and it was clear that she knew the owners when she said, "Hey Margie, two coffees please!"

They sat and exchanged pleasantries until their coffee came and Marissa's curiosity got the better of her, "So, Anna, why exactly are we here? We're not exactly friends so there has to be a reason why you would deliberately seek me out?"

Anna laughed and said, "Not one to beat around the bush? That's all right, I also believe in being direct. I'm actually here on behalf of a friend…"

"If you're because Ryan asked you to, you can tell him to shove it!" Marissa stated angrily, hating the fact that Ryan would sent Anna to do his bidding.

"Actually, no, I'm not here because Ryan asked me to."

"Oh?" Marissa asked confused.

"Summer asked me to talk to you. She's in New York and will only be back on Saturday and by then it might be too late."

"Too late for what?"

"All I know is that Summer wanted me to show you this article about Ryan and give you am invitation to the Newport Group's birthday party. She said to tell you that it's not too late."

Marissa was now even more confused as before but she dutifully took the two pieces of paper from Anna.

"For what it's worth, Marissa, don't make the same mistake I did, Ryan's a one in a million type of guy, don't let him slip through your fingers…" Anna said, before she stood up and left, leaving behind a shocked and perplexed Marissa.

As Marissa was reading the article, her heart felt as if it was beating in her throat: _Newport is being set alight by the news of Ryan Atwood joining his grandfather, Caleb Nichols, in the running of the family business. It was announced yesterday that Sergeant Atwood would take up a position at the Newport Group effectively placing him third in command after his grandfather and mother, Kirsten Cohen. When asked to comment, Nichols dismissed any rumours about his retirement stating that Atwood still had a long way to go before he could take the reigns. Sergeant Atwood commented that after his honourable discharge from the Marines due to a near fatal incident that he was glad to finally have a stable nine to five job, he however also dismissed any claims that he was being groomed for the throne his grandfather still occupies, saying that he needed a 'grown-up' job and it was time for him to settle down, "My Grandfather still has a lot of kick in him, I'm just happy to be under his tutelage for a however long." It remains to be seen if a big announcement will be made at the companies birthday party this Saturday._

He chose her. Even if he didn't tell her, it doesn't matter because he chose her! Marissa's heart soared. She was definitely going to take Anna's advice not to let Ryan slip through her fingers! She thanked Summer telepathically and got up to search for a dress for the party, after all, she needed to look good on the night that could potentially change two lives forever…


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen to happen next- delicious ambiguity! __**Gilda Radner**_

"This was a really, really bad idea…" Marissa said silently to herself as she stepped into the Newport Yacht Club. Ever since Anna's revelations a week earlier, her emotion's had taken more up's and down's than a rollercoaster. On the one hand, Ryan had basically given into her demands and left the Marines but on the other hand, why had he not contacted her at all? Thoughts kept running through her head at a rampant pace.

"Don't worry, I've never gotten used to it either." Anna said as she suddenly appeared next to Marissa. Once again a stab of jealousy ran through Marissa as she saw how drop dead gorgeous Anna looked.

"Hey Anna…" Marissa answered, still not entirely convinced of Anna's sincere intentions.

"Ryan's going to be a bit late. He's a bit… Let's just say he is indisposed." Anna explained. Marissa wasn't sure why the blonde girl was telling her this.

"Why are you dong this Anna? You don't owe me anything so why are you trying to help me?" Marissa asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.

Anna smirked in that irritating know-all way that Marissa has come to despise and said, "There you go again with the directness… I'll tell you, but only because I appreciate you not beating around the bush… I'm doing it because I love Ryan and he loves you. If there was even a miniscule chance that he might still have a shadow of a feeling for me, I would shove you out of the way so fast it would make your head spin. But he doesn't love me and so I am trying to do the next best thing, be his friend. And as his friend, I am helping you…"

Marissa was taken a back. She didn't know Anna's feelings for Ryan ran that deep. "For what it's worth, I really do appreciate your help. One day I will repay you." Marissa said sincerely, for the first time feeling for the blonde girl because at one stage she also coveted unrequited love for Ryan and understood the pain it caused…

"You can repay me by making Ryan happy and not hurting him…" Anna replied with a sad smile. "Caleb just arrived; maybe he will give me an exclusive interview about his supposed retirement." Anna excused herself, heading towards Caleb she left Marissa alone with her thoughts.

Because she didn't really know anyone at the party she kept to herself, awaiting Ryan's arrival. There was a commotion at the door and she was certain it was Ryan. Her suspicions were confirmed when a familiar head appeared in the door. She would know that dirty-blonde buzz cut anywhere. Her spirits sank when she saw a girl on his arm. The girl was a model she had seen a few times on the covers of magazines.

She was confused. What was going on here? Had Ryan not left the Marines for her? And if he did, why was he floundering around with some floozy?

She made her way over to where the cameras were taking photos of the couple and she felt bile rise in her throat due to the way the girl had her hands all over Ryan. She stood there dazed and confused, until Summer approached Ryan with a scowl, pulling him away from the throng of people towards a quiet corner. Marissa silently followed.

She knew it was wrong but she was compelled to eavesdrop on the hushed conversation taking place between Ryan and Summer.

"Are you drunk?" Summer demanded and Marissa could here the outrage in her voice.

Ryan gave a dry laugh and said, "What's it to you?"

In her minds eye she could almost see Summer's eyes narrow and close the gap between herself and Ryan when she spat, "You're drunk! I can't believe it!"

"No, Summer, I'm not drunk, not yet at least, but soon enough I will be." Ryan said, deadly serious.

"If you're not drunk then what the hell are you doing whit that skank!? Are you high?" Summer said indignantly and added even more fervently, "You are high!"

Ryan's laugh rose above the chatter causing quite a few people to turn their way and Summer to blush. "I am not drunk. I am not high. I am not under the influence of anything. Heidi promised me a good time and who am I to turn her down?"

Marissa couldn't believe her ears. How could Ryan be so indifferent about it all? Evidently, Summer couldn't believe it either, judging by her next words, "This isn't you Ryan. You're not that guy."

"Apparently, I am. Enjoy the evening Summer. Have some brie, it's to die for." Ryan said apathetically, leaving behind a stunned Summer.

This was her que Marissa decided and stepped in front of Ryan, effectively stopping him dead in his tracks.

He went pale as a sheet and said, in barely a whisper, "Marissa." The blood seemed to remember where it was supposed to be and rushed back into his face. Ryan added in a more furious tone of voice, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Right. Her plan never extended into actually talking with him. She had thought she would just have to show up. Clearly, that wasn't going to happen and she would have to wing it!

"Can we perhaps go somewhere and talk?" Marissa asked, certain that what she wanted to say, she didn't want to say in front of a crowd. Also it would give her a bit more time to get her thoughts together.

"No! You and I have nothing to say to each other." Ryan said loudly, once again causing the people to stare.

"Just go Ryan; you don't want to make a scene. Caleb will never forgive you." Kirsten, whose arrival, went unnoticed by both Ryan and Marissa, said.

Ryan relented and Marissa shot a grateful look to Kirsten before heading off behind Ryan. They headed to a secluded spot just outside the Yacht Club, overlooking the beach and breakers.

Ryan turned, the rage still etched in his features. "So?"

Marissa gave a nervous laugh and it elicited a deeper frown from Ryan. "I haven't really figured out how I going to start or what I was going to say…"

"In other words, you're wasting my time!" Ryan roared and turned to leave. Marissa reached out to stop him and it sent and electric current running through the both of them. She quickly pulled her hand away. There was an inexplicable look of hurt that momentarily settled in Ryan's eyes as he stared into Marissa's eyes.

She had to swallow before she could speak, "There really is a lot I need to explain."

"No, there really isn't!" Ryan countered.

"Why won't you give me a chance?" Marissa yelled, close to hysterics.

Ryan twisted towards her and it seemed as if all his anger dissipated. "You know what Marissa; I'm giving you an easy out. You don't owe me anything. Let's go back inside because I can't be here. It's too hard."

"An easy out? What the hell are you talking about?" Marissa asked confused.

Her confusion seemed to fuel Ryan's rage and it returned with zealous. "What am I talking about? You can't be serious!" When he saw he got no reaction he continued, "When we last saw each other, you gave me an ultimatum and the entire time I was out there, helping my friends I couldn't get you out of my mind. When the op was done, my CO said I could take out a Hornet to see if it still feels the same."

Ryan looked away and he looked like a lost little boy when he carried on, "I sat in the cockpit and as the sea sped by me I couldn't believe that I had given up on you for that. As soon as I got out of that plane I gave in my wings and hoped and prayed that even after all I had said there might be a chance, a glimmer of hope that you might take me back. All the reasons I loved the Marines didn't mean anything anymore, you meant so much more. I gave it all up for you… And then," Ryan said and it looked as if he was having trouble breathing, "Then I realised that what had meant the world to me meant nothing to you. We might have only been together for two days but it was the happiest two days in my life and you moved on as if nothing happened."

Confusion. Anger. Pain. All these emotions were running through Marissa's mind. What the hell was he on about? Marissa stepped closer to Ryan, needing to touch him to assure him of her love. "Ryan… What…"

He didn't give her a chance though because he stepped away from her, putting his hands up in a stopping gesture, "Don't. Just… Don't. I don't need your sympathy. I understand. I really do. I wouldn't be able to love someone like me either. It was only natural that you run back to Anthony…"

If Ryan hadn't sounded so wounded Marissa would've laughed. "What does Anthony have to do with this?"

Ryan sounded dumbfounded when he said, "Are you really going to force me to do this?"

"Ryan, I really have no idea what you are saying. Where does Anthony fit into this? This is between me and you."

Ryan shook his head with a frown between his eyes. "Anthony has everything to do with this! I gave up the Marines, just like you asked! I even asked Caleb for a job in the hopes that that would persuade you of my intentions! But what do I see when I open up a paper? An article stating that you were getting married to him shortly after the District Attorney elections…"

It suddenly dawned on Marissa that this was all a very bad misunderstanding. "Ryan, you have it all wrong."

Ryan sneered. "That is what I thought as well, and then I had my brand new secretary phone your dearest fiancé and ask him about it. Of course it was all under false pretences and he thought he was going to be in the new edition of Newport Living, but he confirmed it. He confirmed it! So don't you come here to my party and act all holier-than-thou, saying you want to talk! I don't need this! I get that you can't love an ex-hooker. I don't need you to explain yourself!"

Ryan's veneer had no finally cracked and there were definite tears in his eyes.

Marissa grabbed Ryan by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. "We aren't engaged." Marissa said and when Ryan looked away she put her hands on both sides of his face, keeping their eyes connected. She needed to make him see the truth. "We're not engaged. That day when I went to call it off, he asked if we could not announce it to the world until after the elections."

Ryan looked at her, still a bit unconvinced. There was something in his voice when he spoke. Was it perhaps hope? Marissa prayed it was. "You're not engaged?"

Marissa shook her head in denial. "After I left that night, I hated myself. You were right, I had no right to force you to make a choice. I wanted to come and beg you to take me back but I was afraid you wouldn't want me back…"

Ryan's face softened. "Not want you? Marissa…"

Marissa put a finger on his lips, in effect silencing him. "It's my turn to talk, you had yours." She smiled and carried on, "Then out of nowhere, Anna gives me an invitation for tonight along with an article stating that you were joining the Newport Group and so I took that as a sign. I realised you picked me, and that we should be together, and that despite everything, if you loved me enough to stay, I love you enough to not let you stay..."

"Are you done?" Ryan asked straightforwardly and when Marissa nodded in affirmation he captured her lips with his own.

For a few brief minutes, the world seemed to stand still as Ryan kissed Marissa. All their problems were nonexistent because for that time, in that moment, nothing else mattered.

-------------

_Four years later_

Marissa was laying in bed tossing and turning. She just couldn't sleep without Ryan next to her. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was just passed two am. She fell back against the pillows with a huff, trying yet another position when she heard the door of their house open. She smiled when she recognised Ryan's distinct pattern of walking. She could pick out Ryan's footsteps anywhere because his knee never did heal completely, leaving him with a slight limp. The pain came and went and some days were better than others but she could tell by the way he was moving that today was a bad day. As she heard Ryan walking around she thought about their past and how they had gotten where they were.

Ever since that fateful night, just over four years ago, things had changed dramatically for Ryan and Marissa. Even though Marissa persisted that he could remain in the Marines, Ryan left anyway, saying that she is his dream now and that he doesn't need the Marines to make him feel wanted. He did join the Newport Group after all, but not as CEO-in-training as Caleb intended, instead he convinced his grandfather to take over a small charter company which Ryan turned into one of the largest on the west coast, a feat which earned him the nickname Midas from Caleb, because, says Caleb, everything Ryan touches turns to gold. He still flies one of the planes himself sometime, "to stay in tune" he usually jokes. Marissa had opened a practice in Newport with Sandy and Kirsten's help so that she could remain close to Ryan. Ryan and Marissa had finally moved in together two years after getting together and whilst their house was not as extravagant as the Cohen's, they had preferred to get one where they could stay relatively anonymous.

Summer and Marissa had also developed a strong friendship with Summer, born out of their mutual love for Ryan. Marissa could never be jealous about Summer's relationship with Ryan because he would always be everyone's best friend whilst she would be the one who he goes home with.

Home. That word brought a smile to Marissa's face. Home had always been a vague idea for her, she heard people say that home is where you hang your hat but for her home or that home is where the heart is but is only after she found Ryan that she understood the true meaning of home.

There was only one dark cloud in front of her sun. That Saturday was Summer's wedding and she couldn't help but feel jealous of her. She couldn't understand why Ryan had not yet asked her to marry him. They had talked about it and both agreed that marriage was in their future. They were in the perfect stage of their relationship hitherto Ryan has yet to take that last step.

She was pulled from her thought when the bed sank next to her and she could sense the familiar feel of Ryan's body pressing against her own.

"Hey…" Marissa said and flayed herself of his chest, tucking her head under his chin. "You were out late?"

"Hmmm…" Ryan said noncommittally, piquing Marissa's interest.

"Where were you?" She asked curiously.

"I had to pick up something in Portland so I took one of the charters that were headed there…" Ryan explained before he switched off his bedside light and snuggled himself into his pillow, efficiently ending the conversation as he prepared himself to go to sleep. Marissa however was having none of it because her curiosity had the upper hand.

Marissa turned on her bedside lamp, earning her a groan from Ryan as she asked, "What did you have to pick up?"

Ryan rolled over so that he was staring her straight in the eyes, "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

Marissa nodded and grinned like a cat when she said, "You know I won't so you might as well tell me."

For his part, Ryan got out of bed, stifling a yawn and groaning when he stepped on his bad leg. He searched through the pockets of the pants he had just taken off and said with his back to Marissa, "Okay, I'll show you but when we're old and grey and all your friends have these great stories to tell and you don't, remember that you wanted to spoil the surprise…"

The dark cloud systematically began to disappear as the realisation of what Ryan was talking about was slowing sinking and Marissa's heartbeat seemed to double instantaneously.

Ryan shuffled over to her side of the bed and sat down. In his hand he had a ring box and when he opened it Marissa was shocked speechless by the sheer beauty of it. His eyes conveyed more than words ever could when he jokingly said, "I'm not getting down on one knee because it'll hurt like a son of a bitch and I'm not sure I'll be able to get up…" He then added in a more sombre tone, "All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us as well. Marissa, you are that person for me, you and I, we've been through a lot, not always coming out unscathed in the end but always coming through together. There is nothing I want more in this world I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me."

Her answer, of course, was lost somewhere between his mouth and hers as she had already shown her affirmation by kissing him with all the love she possessed. The last coherent thought she had was that when she was old and grey and all her friends were sharing stories about how their husbands proposed, her story would beat them all…

THE END

\** And sadly this comes to an end. It was fun guys, I hope you'll review for old time's sake and support my other stories (if and when I post again) as well as you did this one! Ladies and gentleman, Supreme-Empress has left the building! **//


End file.
